LoserGrl Chronicles

2004-03-01T07:07:00.000-05:00

The new blog is up and running! You can find it here: http://danicole.com/losergrl/

See You There!!!
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-28T17:19:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone! I have great news!! I am getting ready to move this blog over to my own server and a new blogging software. Keep you eye out here for the new address. I hope to have it posted and running by the end of the weekend.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-25T06:40:00.000-05:00

Early Morning Ruminations

I'm sitting here this morning thinking about my progress these past few weeks. I have done some incredible things, the most being that I am actually moving and earning APs. Last week I earned 15 for the entire week, and this week I've earned 10 in 3 days. Just by walking. Yesterday I walked more than I have in the 4 weeks I've been tracking my steps. I actually walked over 5 miles. My normal day (when working) had ranged between 2.5 - 3 miles and when walking for exercise I had managed to hit just a bit over 4. Yesterday I made it a priority to add extra walking time to my work day. Working with 1st graders really helps. I get to walk and pick up 3 classes from their specials and I get to spend recess out with at least one class a day. Our campus is very spread out, so I made sure to walk it as much as possible. I had one little girl walk with me during recess for 16 minutes and then after school I used the extra time I had, while waiting for my own children, to walk the entire campus for 20 minutes.

So I'm very proud of myself. I'm trying and that's important.

However...

Since I am a daily weigher I can see what the scale is doing. So this morning the scale has me baffled. I'm not upset, just wondering...

Last week I exercised, ate only 10 of my APs and stayed the same at weigh-in. Since weigh-in I have gained each day. I am now up 2.5 pounds for the week. I'm not really worried because I know I'm doing the right thing. I also know that I've been completely OP. I've actually been eating all of my fruits & veggies, drink my water and then some, eating my points and my APs and I've even had .5 of my flex points.

I think it will be very interesting to continue watching what my body is doing and how it's reacting to this increase in activity.

I won't be thrilled with a gain at weigh-in on Sunday, but I won't be upset with myself either if it happens. I'll just continue to watch my body and learn from it and pray. :-)

So those are my early morning ruminations.

Hope you have a great day!!!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-23T06:41:00.000-05:00

DO NOT GIVE UP!

This morning I was on the WW boards, where I hang out quite a bit, and responded to a post from a poster that is getting discouraged because her losses are slow and she's getting frustrated. My post is something I need to remember as the going gets tough...and I know it's going to get tough... so I'm going to put it here for future reference :-)

Don't quit!!!! I have been where you are, only I have quit! Each time I've had to start over and re-lose much of the weight I had lost, just because I got discouraged because I was doing everything right and my losses had slowed. That's the game I've been playing for 4 and a half years now! It sucks! I wish I had just done it the first time and kept with the small losses or no losses...if I had I'd be at goal today!

DO NOT GIVE UP! DO NOT GIVE UP!

P.S. I've started exercising again (last week) and I stayed the same yesterday at weigh-in. My mind started playing the same game with me, but I am determined to keep at this rather than quit and have to start again. I'm fighting my own mind and it's not easy but I will NOT GIVE UP!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-22T09:52:00.000-05:00

Good morning everyone! Today was my weigh-in for week 5 and the news isn't great, but isn't bad either.

I stayed the same :-(

This despite the fact that I didn't use any flex points at all and I earned 15 AP points and ate 10 of them.

My target is 30 and here's my weekly break down:

33 <- 3 APs used
33 <- 3 APs used
32 <- 2 APs used
23.5
28
32 <- 2 APs used
30

I think this is what freaks me out about exercising. Everytime I do it, my losses slow to a crawl. This has been the case over the last 4.5 years.

This week I walked a ton because my mother was here and she motivated me to do so. I am going to continue walking and have pulled out my old yoga and pilates equipment to compliment the walking, but I hope that the losses don't slow too much.

I'm terrified to eat too much food. I know I should eat my APs and mostly did, except for the day I earned 7... I only used 3 of them because I just wasn't hungry.

I'm afraid if I eat too much that I'll gain, I'm afraid if I eat too little I'll gain, I'm afraid truly because I can not control what causes me to lose. I can't just eat 30 points every day and lose 2 pounds a week. There are so many variables that are out of my control and that freak me out because I am an obsessive control freak. There is no magic in this and that scares me.

I've had pep talks with myself this week because I knew I wouldn't lose a lot due to my daily "check-ins" and I'm really ok with that because I know that I did really well and that getting that walking in is imperative to my future health and well being.

This is just such a long long journey that I don't like to take advantage of these rest stops along the way and want to keep moving and grooving rather than stopping to smell the roses (aka NSVs)

Well that's my rambling for now! Have a great Sunday!!!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-20T08:20:00.000-05:00

I'm now back from the airport and my mother is on her way home. I hate goodbyes. I'm having such a hard time with my self esteem these days that it's nice to have her here and to be encouraged by her support and the belief she has in me. She's skinny. I think the highest she's ever weighed is 150 pounds. Now she's about 125 and looks amazing. I am twice her size! So I watched her... she exercises every day, she eats small portions, she doesn't bulk eat like I do, she does what needs to be done to maintain the weight she wants to be. She's not deprived...she just does it.

Why can't I be like that???? I hate exercise. I am a bulk eater. I am fat. I just have so many issues. I really do not like myself, I really do not like my life. I am not happy. I am stressed, I am fat, I am not attractive, I am on a serious pity party. I am struggling so much. Not so much with my staying on plan, but more the fact that I'm as fat as I am and I don't have to be this big. I resent myself for letting me gain this weight back, I resent myself for not being at goal 4+ years after starting this journey. I resent myself for many of my shortcomings. I resent that it's going to take me a long time to get back to that 51 pounds gone status...and longer still to move on from there. I resent myself for not being willing to get excited over exercising...I just resent the hell out of myself.

I just want the pain to go away. I just want to do something...anything...right in my life.

I just want to hide away and cry.

Like I said...serious pity party going on here today. *sigh*

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-20T06:28:00.000-05:00

I'm sad today. My mother's been here visiting this week and it's been wonderful. We've been apart for over 6 months and these 6 days have just been a treat, though they've flown by way too fast. Now I'm sitting here waiting to take her to the airport and I just want to cry. Yesterday was her last day and I woke up feeling icky and depressed and ended the day feeling icky and depressed and crying myself to sleep. I'm such a baby!!!!!

I am so lucky. My mother is my best friend and the one person in my life that I can be 100% myself with and know that she'll never turn away from me. I love her so much. I hate that we live so far from each other.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-15T12:47:00.000-05:00

Thoughts for the Month

Earlier this morning I posted that I was down 3 pounds this week. So now I thought I'd post my stats for the first four weeks recommitted to my journey.

Total Pounds Lost: 8 pounds
Total Inches Lost: 5.5 (rt. arm, waist, hips, rt. thigh)

Not too bad! I'm very excited and feel as if my commitment to this journey is right where it should be. I'm making much better choices, when getting on the scale I tell myself that even if I don't show a loss I know that I'm doing what I need to be doing so I'm on the right track. I am doing IT again!!! I can't tell you how good that makes me feel!

Some simple things like eating out are back on track...points are counted even if I don't want to count them. Last week I ate out 4 times...McDonalds, Japanese Steak House, Applebees and Chik-fil-A. I had a Big Mac, I had a regular Chik-fil-A sandwich, I had french fries... you get the idea. Yet, I still had a 3 pound loss and I still stayed within my points. The biggest trick for me is planning. Planning on going out, planning on what to eat, planning on having the points available.

That's my lesson for this month...planning ahead and storyboarding.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-15T08:44:00.000-05:00

Recommitment Thoughts - Week 4

I'm a happy camper today. Jumped on the scale for weigh-in this morning and I'm down 3 pounds!!!! Yeah baby!!!

The great part is, there are only 4 more pounds to go until I've lost the weight I gained from Thanksgiving through mid-January. Then I work on the rest of the weight I had gained over the last year...that other 25.5 pounds...LOL

I'm thrilled that I'm averaging 2 pounds a week. I hope I continue at that rate, because in the past I usually only averaged about 1 a week and I definitely like the average better this time around.

Last week I was coming off of my big Superbowl Sunday splurge and had used a lot of my flex points, this week I only had one moderately high day and used 4 flex points. I wonder if that made a difference?

My target is 30 and here's what I did each day:

27 30 25.5 30 34 30 29.5

I also tried to make sure to add some fat to my diet, I tend to do everything low fat or fat free because I prefer it that way and I like to get the most bang for my points. So getting in extra fat is a big step for me.

As for carbs...today's kick is everything low carb or no carb but I love carbs so that doesn't work for me, so what I've been trying to do is make sure that I eat more protein with my carbs and by doing that I think it's helping me to stay full longer.

Now on to week 5! :-)

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-10T06:55:00.000-05:00

Aren't our bodies weird and wonderful at the same time? Why do I say this? Because I had the weirdest food day yesterday. Due to circumstances out of my control I didn't eat anything until after noon and then I only had time for my sandwich and a shapeup bar. Then I didn't eat anything else, except a snack bar, until nearly 7:30 when we went to McDonalds and I used 19.5 points on a Big Mac and small fry. That's all I ate all day! But I hit my target points and this morning I'm down 1.5 from yesterday! This brings me unofficially into the 250s once again! Never thought I'd be so excited to get there, but I am. Weird that I'd lose after eating McDonalds!!!!

Right now I'm really focused on losing the 12 pounds I gained over the holidays, and as of this morning I'm over half way there. That's very exciting. I'd love to make it there by mid-March and then get going on the next mini goal I'll set for myself.

Anyway, I'm in a great mood and very motivated on this journey right now. I really feel as if I'm back in the groove and chugging along for the long haul!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-04T07:12:00.000-05:00

Skinny Feet?

It's very strange...I'm just down 4 pounds since recommitting myself in mid-January, but this morning I noticed that my feet look thinner. Very odd.

Not that they were ever fat, my fat seems to have missed my feet so far, but they must have been a bit swolled due to all the cruddy food I'd been eating over the last few months. Now that I'm back eating a healthier diet they're unswollen?

Oh and I've also noticed that my nails are growing nicely again. My hands look nicer than they have in months.

Amazing what we do to ourselves when we eat unhealthy foods, and the way our body responds when we feed it what it needs to thrive.

I'll take these changes even above a loss because I know that I'm helping myself to live a longer healthier life.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-02T07:08:00.000-05:00

Superbowl Damage

I was all prepared yesterday to have a good time at the Superbowl party I went to.

Unfortunately it all fell to hell when I arrived and here's why...

All of us sat around a long narrow table at my BIL's house and the entire table was filled with chips/crackers and dips. No way to escape! I had storyboarded that the food would be on my BIL's bar, but apparently no one wanted to miss the game to get up for food so there it sat calling my name.

So I counted the points per serving of the tortilla chip bowls I ate (realizing I should have brought some of my baked chips with me) stuck to those and had spinach dip with them. Not realizing just how damaging the spinach dip is!

I did not bring an appetizer. That was my downfall. I brought a dish for dinner (fruit salad) and brought a dessert.

So I grazed until we ate, then I ate turkey and fruit salad for dinner...not too bad...but then came the *4* chocolate chip cookies!!!!! I have such a hard time saying NO to cookies! I just love fresh from the oven gooey chocolate chip cookies.

So I ate and tried to have no regrets, drank a ton of water at the same time and came straight home to journal what I'd consumed and today I will move on. Next time I will be more prepared to deal with having food right in front of me and come up with some coping strategies. Last night I was just not able to do that on the fly.

However, I do feel like I made good choices, for the most part, and am proud of myself for writing it down and facing the damage.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-02-01T10:36:00.000-05:00

Week 2 Weigh-in Results

Phew! I was so worried after last week only losing .5 pounds. Well this week was MUCH better... I was down 3.5!!!

I ate a bit more and added some more fat to my diet and a bit less fiber. I also switched back to drinking mostly water and diet rite and got rid of the caffeine.

I have a target of 30 points per day here's what my week looked like:

30.5 27 29 33 30 32 29

I ate 5.5 flex points

I did not do any "exercise" but I did continue to try to increase my activity on a daily basis.

Also, this morning really made me reflect on that list of NSVs that I posted yesterday. Working in my school is such a challenge because there is junk everywhere and always a birthday to be celebrated or some such. I thought about how if I had eaten everything that had been offered to me this week, would I have lost? Would I have done as well as I did? Even if I journaled and ate my flex points to accomodate them. I also reflected on the fact that 5 minutes after turning down the sweets, or making a different choices, I was not upset, not feeling deprived, but feeling strong for being able to say no.

I have to contemplate this a bit more today, but I think I may be on the verge of a mental breakthrough. :-)

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-01-31T15:33:00.000-05:00

Non-Scale Victories this Week!

My list is huge! I'm shocked as I sit here writing them out.

1. Did not eat a piece of Bday cake at school on Monday.
2. Did not eat Einsteins Yummy Muffin at school on Wednesday.
3. Did not eat a piece of Bday cake at school on Wednesday.
4. Did not eat a brownie at school on Wednesday.
5. Made good choices at Applebees at lunch on Thursday.
6. Did not purchase crap at gas station on Thursday afternoon while having a munchie craving.
7. Made good choices for dinner from the Rib City menu on Thursday.
8. Even though I ate out twice on Thursday I stayed within my points for the day.
9. Did not eat a serving of Cookie cake at school on Friday.
10. Did not eat cookie cake (2) at school on Friday.
11. Did not get fattening coffee drink at Borders this morning.
12. Chose to not eat fast food lunch today while running errands. Went home for lunch instead.

Woo Yoo!

I'm telling you...turning down the cookie cake and cakes is like a torture to me usually as I just adore cake, cookies and frostings. But I was more committed to my week being a good one than I was to giving up the points on those items.

It was a tempting week but I did it! Go me!!!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-01-26T06:46:00.000-05:00

OMG! I had my first "official" weigh-in day today after my first week OP.

What I did right:

- Drank my water (all but one day)
- Ate My Veggies
- Ate near my point target (was under 3/7 days)
- Used 2.5 flex points
- Tried to increase activity levels
- Ate my dairy servings
- Took multivitamin
- Journaled
- Cut back on carbs
- Upped the fiber
- Upped my protein

What I didn't do:

- Earn activity points

Offical weigh-in results?????? .5!

Yep, ONE HALF POUND!!!!!!

I am so disappointed because I am an every day weigher and I know that two days ago I was down 3 pounds, I know yesterday that I was down 2.5 pounds, yet today...the day I record my weight I'm only down .5! LOL

Just figures!!!!

Anyway, I know that I am on the right track, I know that this weight will come of and is coming off even if those numbers are driving me crazy at this precise moment. I WILL NOT let this get me down, my head is trying really hard to tell me that I suck, but I know that I don't and I know that there is no way on this green planet that I only lost .5 this week. I am trying to tell my head that next week will be better and that slow and steady wins the race.

Oh, and I've changed my "official" weigh-in day to Sundays from here on out, because this is just a bit too much to deal with at the crack of down on a Monday morning.

*Sigh*

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-01-25T11:02:00.000-05:00

Why do we get derailed?

That is a question that was asked today on the WW board. Here are my answers:

For myself I have 2 answers.

1. I start to believe I can do it on my own and I have no reason to count points or journal. I can do it in my head and still stay on track. - Never fails...I always fail at this. It's my mind being very evil to my body and sabatoging my journey.

2. There is some inherant fear in my soul that is terrified of being thin. Everytime I lose to a big milestone and the accolades start coming I fall prey to #1 above. I know that I have to fix my head in order for my body to follow. I just have not been able to do that yet. I hope along this journey that I will be able to finally confront the demons that cause me to sabatoge my journey and keep me from being the healthy girl I know I can be.

I just wanted to make sure to include this here so that I can look back and be reminded when that demon, pops up 50 pounds down the road, as I know he will.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-01-24T09:59:00.000-05:00

I love food.

I especially love sweet and salty foods.

I love to eat food in quantities that are way too unhealthy.

I also eat as a crutch for emotional reasons.

I have learned to make food my best friend and my most fierce enemy.

I have learned that food both loves me and hates me. Is good for me and bad for me. Yet I still love it and I still continue to be involved in this love hate relationship.

The difference now is that I'm working to turn it from destructive love to constructive love.

One day at a time, one bite at a time.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-01-22T20:59:00.000-05:00

Wow, day 4 is almost over and I'm starting to feel as if I never got side tracked in my journey. It's amazing! I was on track in November for about 3 weeks, but not truly...this time it feels true. Also, for the first time in the 4+ years I've been on this journey I am really doing the plan, food wise. Before I was always trying to figure out how to squeeze the most from my points so I could eat lots of "low fat, low point" snack foods instead of "real" food. I know that's why my journey has been slow and easily side tracked. This week something's different, this week I've actually been eating all of my fruits & veggies (or nearly) and trying to eat more "real" food rather than convenience. I am feeling great about it and looking forward to each day's food adventures.

One of the big differences I'm noticing so far is that I'm not trying to eat my flex points. So far this week I've been at 27, 32, 27, 26.5 points...and have really had to add "snacks" to get to those points. I'm not eating all of them because I'm trying to break my habit of eating when I'm not hungry just for the sake of eating.

I know down the line that this will flucuate and as my points drop I'll probably find myself working out like a fiend to have more daily points, but for now I'm happy.

I'm also preparing myself to be content if my weigh-in is not what I hope it will be. I will accept it and revel in the NSVs that I've had this week. I'm really trying to break the bad habits of the past that caused me to derail. The negative self talk and all of that bunk.

So now I'm rambling, but these are my thoughts for tonight.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-01-21T07:01:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here feeling so sorry for myself. A bit over a year ago I was down 51 pounds and starting to look real good, if I do say so myself. *Sigh

Then I "took off" Nov, Dec of 2002 and vowed to get back on track in January 2003. January 2003 turned into 2004 and here I am up 37.5 and just now getting back on track. (2 good days so far!)

So this morning for "inspiration" I'm browsing the photo gallery on my site and I realize just exactly what it is that I've done to myself and how far I've brought myself back toward the hell I used to know. Kind of like a wake up call if you will. I mean, I knew I was gaining, I knew my clothes didn't fit, I knew my double chin was back with a vengence...but now I just really realized how bad it is.

Yes, I know that I'm lucky I stopped before I gained it all back, but I didn't stop soon enough! What happened to me saying that I'd stop as soon as I gained 5 pounds? I swore I'd never gain more than that again in my life, yet was not strong enough, nor true enough to myself, to do just that. *sigh

Damn it's a long road back to where I was. I really hate this journey!!!!! I've taken it one too many times!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2004-01-19T09:08:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why I suck so bad! Here it is almost 2 months since my last post and I'm up 12 pounds! I was doing so well and then it all went to hell and now here I am again. It's so funny how I stop writing in my blog when I start to go insane and eat like a fiend. This helps me stay accountable to myself, so when I'm not behaving I turn my back on it and all hell breaks loose.

So here I am today, at my highest weight in 2 years 266 pounds. I'm recommitting myself to Weight Watchers once again and pray that this time will be the last time.

I read a quote recently in a WW book I have where someone had joined 11 times before they finally hit goal. That gave me heart and let me know that I'm not alone in this struggle to stay the course. Now if I can just get back on those train tracks to loserville I will be in such a better mental place than I'm in now. Right now, nothing fits, I look like an overfilled balloon and I feel like I'm going to pop.

Today is the day, the journal is out, the pantry is stocked with "good" foods and I've stepped on the scale. That's all the easy stuff. The hard part is keeping the food out of my mouth and my mind in the right place.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2003-11-25T07:14:00.000-05:00

Good morning! Two days and counting until Turkey day and the holiday feeding frenzy officially starts. This year is so different from last. Last year I had decided I was taking a "break" from counting points and watching what I ate. Only for November/December and then January 2 I was going to be right back on track! Nevermind that I had just hit 51 pounds lost...nevermind that I had been slowly heading right to the destination of my journey...nevermind that I was finally shopping in the Misses area and almost totally ready to ditch the Plus size department...nevermind that I was getting compliments left and right...nevermind...

I guess you get it...I was doing everything right and should have been so proud of myself. Instead I took a break that ended up lasting through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years and stretched through every major holiday until Halloween of the following year. Luckily I only gained 35 of those 51 pounds back. But you know what...I felt fatter than I had when I started this whole journey 4+ years ago. As a matter of fact, I still feel fatter. Mentally I am all screwed up on this journey. I know that and I say I want to figure it out but I'm having a hard time doing the work that will help me pinpoint and deal with WHY I keep sabotaging myself. I really am starting to think it's not all about the food. I hate being fat and I know that I want to live life as a thin person down the road, but I seem to hit these walls and just let myself bounce off and land in a heap on the floor. By the time I get up I'm a mess and have to re-work myself just to return to where I was when I hit that wall. It's insane.

I must figure this out...I say I'm using Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution to help me do this, but I see that I'm scared to do so. I have both the book and the CDs but I am avoiding them right now. It might be because I'm afraid to find the answers, it might be because I don't want to do the hard work to discover what I fear, it might be anything...but I do know that I am avoiding it for some reason. *Sigh*

You know, that is something that people just don't get. When you look at a fat person you think "oh, they should just stop eating and lose that weight." but what many people just don't get is that most of us have deep seated fears and emotional problems that cause us to eat and keep our armor of fat firmly around us as our sheilds. It's those things we really must work through in order to finally end this battle and get healthy. If only we can!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2003-11-21T22:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm bumming! I wrote a post out on Wednesday and it's not here any more... darn it! Oh well, just another of my ramblings, I guess you're not missing too much.

I'm still going strong... what I don't understand is why I am doing so well and why it took me so long to get back to this place. So much wasted time and so many extra pounds to re-lose. AUGH sometimes I can get so depressed just thinking about it and where I am as opposed to where I should and could be. I know it's self defeating, but sometimes I just find myself becoming a bit sad at all that I've done wrong on this journey of mine. *sigh*

I think I get more upset when I see stories on TV about the people just dropping pounds like nobodies business due to gastric bypass or lap band. They get so many kudos by the press, like Oprah, and are so celebrated for their quick weight loss. The press makes it seem like this is the way to go and that taking care of yourself and taking this long journey to acheive the same results is not something worth applauding. No matter how you get from point A to point B this is not an easy journey. If you opt for surgery you put yourself into a high risk category... that surgery is DANGEROUS! Many people die to get thin, literally, with these surgeries.

Or you go along slowly but surely and just pray every day that you can stay the course. That's what I do. I pray. I pray that I'll be strong and get to the end of the journey this time around. I never give up...I may make a few detours and I may step off track and get turned in the wrong direction, but I am bound and determined that I am going to get thin and healthy before I die from this weight.

I'm not sure where my ramblings are taking me right now, so I'll sign off for the night. Just know that as of today I am still going strong. One day at a time!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2003-11-18T07:09:00.000-05:00

What is it about shopping for clothes that causes all self esteem to be stripped away and leaves me feeling like a big insecure ball of fat? I can't figure it out. I go all the time knowing that I'm fat, but being able to forget it at times and at others to convince myself that it's not as bad as I think. Then I step into a dressing room, strip off my clothes and see my THIGHS! Lumpy bumpy and gross! They don't look that bad when I look down at them, but somehow in the fitting room mirrors they look like a disgusting mess. For some reason I can deal with my lumpy bumpy stomach, my huge arms and my bulges in the back, but when I see my thighs I just want to cry! Can you tell I've been shopping? Yes, off to find something to wear to dinner on Thanksgiving. Find some really cute dresses and go to try them on. ZAP ZAP there goes the little self esteem I have. But there is a light at the other side of this experience. It has forced me to have more resolve to stay my course...to lose the lumps and bumps and to keep on fighting my way through this journey... it's also taught me that I must close my eyes when I try on clothes!

LOL

Thanks for listening to my little rant and whine. I had to get that off my chest. I figure I'm not the only one that goes through this, so maybe you can relate.

Oh yes, I've also set a new "mini" goal. I'd like to lose 58 pounds by June 6th. That's 30 weeks to lose nearly 60 pounds and I'd have to average 2 pounds a week. My normal averages aren't usually that high, so I have to work very hard to acheive this goal. The reason for the goal is that I may be moving back home near this time and I'd like to be at or below 200 pounds when I do that. Wish me luck!

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2003-11-16T09:39:00.000-05:00

Phew! I made it through this tough week and came out a loser! Weigh-in revealed a 1.5 pound loss. Not too shabby.

Friday's "feast" at school was wonderful. I was so good. I had packed my lunch just incase everything was too out of my league, but it all worked out well. Ended up having a 1pt snack just before going out as my lunch buddy was a bit delayed and I knew going to the food starving would be the end for me. When we finally got to the "feast" I chose very wisely and had small servings of everything that looked yummy to me and stocked up on the grilled veggies. Stayed away from the gravy and pie and took a gourmet cookie, ate 3 bites and threw the rest in the trash can. Just like I used to! I felt so powerful!

Then came yesterday... oh brother. My father called at 8:00 am and wanted to see if we'd go to the boat show with him and my step mother. Sounded like fun, so my daughter and I rushed to get ready and out the door. Only thing was, I forgot to eat or pack breakfast! We go to the show, walk a zillion miles in this absolutely glorious weather and I'm sure I ended up burning a bazillion AP points...all on an empty stomach! I didn't have water with me and was feeling really parched and starving by the time we left at 12:30. My daughter and I then ended up going out to eat and even though I was starving I did really well and didn't clean my plate. I made a concerted effort to leave food on my plate and to stop eating when I felt full. Another victory! Instead of using my exercise and famished stomach as excuses to eat until I burst I actually set limits for myself and held to them. That's something that is very hard for me to do!

I am still taking this journey one day at a time, one meal at a time. It's hard, I won't kid you...but when I'm on for the duration and really work at it I find that it does get easier over time. It's only when I let my mind convince me that I don't have to do these things that I really get in to trouble.

Something to think about :-)

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2003-11-12T07:05:00.000-05:00

Well I'm still on track...using a bit more of my flex points this week but still on track. I have to work out of the home for 5 days this week and that makes it hard! I work in a school and we have food EVERYWHERE! Augh. Actually my office is in the "pantry" for our pod. So I'm surrounded by cookies, combos, cereal and other assorted snack foods. It's pure torture. It gets worse when someone brings in treats and leaves them on the shelf right out of my office. I'm such a treat lover!

I've been good so far, said no to some fresh baked bread on Monday, said no to some cookies yesterday...but Friday will be the toughest. Friday the PTO is providing a "feast" for all of the teachers and staff. I am going to have to have all of my tools with me so that I can make good choices and come out with points left for the rest of the day.

There is some good news...during my work day I am very active. I run all over campus several times and get much activity. I don't count the points but I know that causes me to be hungrier than normal.

The other good news is that Thanksgiving will be at the club. So no cooking, no leftovers and it will be easy to control my portions. There is a downside in that I won't have control over the the contents of my meal, but I plan to whip up some low point holiday fare for the family to eat after Thanksgiving and that will be my weekend "leftover" food choices.

Well off to work! Until later!

-Heather aka Losergrl

2003-11-09T09:35:00.000-05:00

It's now day 7 (and yes I'm going to stop counting my days OP after this post!) and I'm still going strong. I've just done my weekly weigh-in and I've lost 4.5 pounds this week. Yahoo!!! It's getting easier as the days go on. I've only eaten 6 of my flex points for the week, and I'll eventually experiment with them to see how well they do or do not work for me.

About the new Flex Point plan at Weight Watchers, I must say I really like it. It's nice to have the points back that they took away with Winning Points, and I LOVE not having to bank points but actually having them there already. It's a mental thing, but it works and I don't feel the need to deprive myself each day in order to "bank" points incase I need them over the weekend. It's very freeing this way.

As for the Dr. Phil portion of my journey...I have not gotten very far through his book yet. I am working on it and will share more indepth with you as I go through the 7 keys he presents.

Until Later
-Heather aka Losergrl

2003-11-06T10:40:00.000-05:00

Yeah Baby! Day 4 and I'm still kicking! Woo Hoo! Today will be a challenge because I am going out to brunch as well as dinner. However, I've already downloaded the menu from dinner and gotten some point values from Dotties website (http://dwlz.com) and for my brunch I will do the same.

Yesterday I purchased Dr. Phil's new book The Ultimate Weight Solution and I plan to do that along with Weight Watchers Flex Point program. I think he will provide the kick in the pants I need and hopefully help me sort out the mental aspects of this journey.

Speaking of the mental aspects...I have come to the realization that ANYTIME I hit a milestone I subconciously FREAK OUT and that messes it all up. The last time it was that previously unattainable 50 pound mark. I hit and immediately started the upward spiral of putting it back up. In the past it had been my 1st 10% and so on and so on. So I'm really wondering why I am so dang scared to become the person I'm meant to become? Why do I let myself stay so unhealthy and unattractive? I don't like being FAT, that I know, but yet I keep myself here. So hopefully somewhere in Dr. Phil's book will be the key to finding the answer to the reasons behind my personal sabatoge.

-Heather
AKA Losergrl

2003-11-04T06:38:00.000-05:00

Ha! I LIED! I was not back! I did not stay on track! Trickedja!

*sigh*

This is so hard. Getting back on track is just hard as heck. But I'm trying again 3 months after the last time. You know I actually attempt to get back on track at least once a week, it just never sticks. I throw out all the old rules, all the tricks I had learned. I let one bad meal ruin the entire week instead of just one meal. I let my love of sweets rule my head. I let my house get filled with crap and forget to buy the staples that I rely on for healthy eating. I don't special order my food when we go out, I don't look for the most point friendly items on the menu. I just EAT!

So, it might not seem like much to you, but yesterday I stayed nearly 100% OP!

One day at a time! That's how I'm taking this journey, this time.

My biggest challenge yesterday was a donut. I love donuts and one of the little girls at school brought them in for the entire class and of course brought one back to me. I put it on my desk and went to eat my Pria bar instead. However, the thing kept starring me in the face...calling my name...so I gave in! I took a teensy piece of it off, wrapped the rest up and threw it right into the trash can. Ate the teensy piece, journaled and moved on. I felt so victorious! Especially later when the rest of the donuts showed up on the communal snack table and I was strong enough to just walk on by.

One day at a time! I'm just going to keep repeating that mantra until the end of this journey!

So I'm back, but just for yesterday and today. Hopefully I'll be back for tomorrow as well, heck hopefully I'll be back for many tomorrows, but at this time I'm here just for today!

One day at a time!

2003-08-07T14:51:00.000-04:00

I'm BACK! Ha! You thought I'd disappeared forever didn't you? Not me!!! I'm determined to update this site once again and to get my weight loss journey BACK ON TRACK! So many of you have written to me and told me that you found this to be such an inspiration to you. I'm sorry that I've let it lapse, but as you can imagine I've also let my weight loss efforts lapse and have gained back over 30 pounds since last October! Let this be a warning to you...do not say "I'll start again after the holidays." because it just doesn't happen that way. Once off I'm off and it takes a long time for me to find my way back! I'm now clawing my way back on to the program and off of my food addiction. It's just a very hard and trying thing to conquer. I hope someday I beat down this beast inside of me and come out the victor in this. My 35 birthday is just a bit more than a year away and I want to be able to be in shape and healthy by the time it rolls around.

The biggest difference right now is the fact that we're going through a major money crunch. Isn't it funny how "healthy" food is much more expensive than the value menu at McDonalds? Just seems like society sends such a mixed message. They don't want us to be fat, but then there is a premium on the things that will help keep us from getting that way, while they practically give the crap away for free. Hmph!

The money crunch has caused me to stop going to meetings. I just can't afford them right now so I'm doing this at home on my own. I'll weigh in each Sunday morning and go from there. I started this on Monday and haven't done all that great this week, but I am journaling so I figure that's a step in the right direction. I'm also making sure to drink at least 24-48 ounces of water each day. I'm not quite back up to my 80+ ounces of the past, but eventually I should get there.

I really want to hear from you guys so speak up! Let me know you're there and perhaps you can become my "at home" support group and I can become part of yours again. There's a forum on this site that has never really gotten off the ground, but it's free and everyone is welcome to use it.

Well that's it for today...I promise I'll be back! I have GOT TO DO THIS THIS TIME!!!! Won't you help me?????

-Heather
AKA LoserGrl

2002-10-14T08:56:00.000-04:00

Geeze...I'm so bad! I haven't been posting here at all. I've stopped doing my daily posts because I just find I don't have the time, nor do I have much to say. I'm just plodding along on my journey.

Not surprisingly I am now at a platau. Even though I am still falling well in my point range and exercising 4 days a week, I'm still not losing very quickly. I've been the same weight for 3 weeks and I'm not sure if it's my body correcting itself or what. All I know is that I was hoping to be at my 50 pound mark by this week and my body isn't budging. So I'm going to do something drastic! I'm going to start the Wendie Plan after I weigh-in on Thursday. A 3 week platau is all I'm willing to have...it's so frustrating. It's like I got too close and my body said ok STOP! But dang it! I gave it the green light...I want this so BAD!

I will say, that I am still dedicated. I DO NOT have the urge to go off program because of this. I truly am in this for the long haul. It's my life now...but I want that damn SCALE to MOVE!

So hang around...and hopefully I'll have good news to share next week!

Until Later
-LG

2002-09-24T08:27:00.000-04:00

WEEKLY CHALLENGE RESULTS: WEEK 16

Range: 26 - 31
Total points allowed for week: 217
Total points used this week: 204.5

Thurs 9/12: 28.5
Fri 9/13: 29
Sat 9/14: 28.5
Sun 9/15: 30
Mon 9/16: 28
Tues 9/17: 29.5
Wed 9/18: 31

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 23
Total Activity Points Used: 0

Weigh-in Results for Week: -2.4

2002-09-24T08:25:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #4: Days 15,16,19,20

Date: 9/20/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 32
Banked: -1
Weekly Points Used: 59.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #4: 19 of 30

Comments: Hungry today. Used 1 banked point from yesterday. Wonder if I'll ever get past the guilt feeling on using banked points? I figure perhaps when I'm down to the low low point ranges that I'll be having days I'm desperate to use those banked points. Some days the hunger kills me...and I'm still lingering in this high range...can't imagine what will happen a few ranges from now!

=====================================

Date: 9/19/02 (Thursday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 27.5
Banked: 3.5
Weekly Points Used: 27.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 9 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #4: 18 of 30

Comments: Challenge day today...ended up eating Micky D's twice! Thank goodness for their Chicken Caesar Salad Shaker...only 2pts! It was a very stressful day on many fronts so I'm glad I had the good choices while at McDonalds. I really love the Chicken Caesar and have it often...with the FF vinaigrette dressing it's so yummy! Eating at fast food is all about choices. So many people start Weight Watchers and immediately stear clear of all fast food as if they're on a diet. I decided that if I was going to succeed I could not do this...at least long term. So I made it a point to search out the food points at those restaurants, figure out how much I'd be willing to give up point wise and make menus according to those points. It's worked! I eat out often and do not feel deprived...even though I no longer have Big Macs or Gorditas or whatever high point foods I used to choose. Here's a sample of what I order at my favorite fast food restaurants:

McDonalds:
1 McChicken minus mayo - 7.5
1 Grilled Chicken Caesar Shaker - 2
1/2 packet of FF Vinaigrette dressing - 0
(occasionally)
1 Small Fry - 5

Wendy's:
Mandarin Chicken Salad - 3
(no toppings or dressing)
1/2 Small Chili - 2
(chili is poured on salad after mandarin oranges are eaten)
(occasionally)
Jr. Cheeseburger - 7.5

Taco Bell:
2 Chicken Soft Tacos - 4 (each)
or
2 regular Soft Tacos - 4.5 (each)
Pintos & Cheese - 2.5
(sometimes I put the pintos & cheese on my soft tacos to simulate a bean burrito)

I know that after I lose more points, that these will be adjusted a bit...such as the McChicken without the bun or with only 1/2 bun. Or perhaps just 1/2 a McChicken. Or just one taco at Taco Bell with the pintos & cheese. Wendy's is a real low point high filling meal that I don't think will change much. If I don't want the chicken I substitute a side salad for the Mandarin Chicken salad. That saves me 3 points. I also bring home the noodles and nuts from the salad. I figure when I have the points I can use them on a salad at home as a crunchy topping. I also use my fast food visits as a time to pick up some fat in my diet. Typically I eat very low fat and have to be conscious about putting fat into my diet or my weight loss has problems.

2002-09-24T08:19:00.000-04:00

UPDATE

Since I have been so lax about updating this blog daily, I have decided to only post my daily logs if I've had anything to say for that day. That way it will make it easier to wade through all the mess this blog has become.

-LG

2002-09-15T19:50:00.000-04:00

WEEKLY CHALLENGE RESULTS: WEEK 15

Range: 26 - 31
Total points allowed for week: 217
Total points used this week: 210.5

Thurs 9/05: 31
Fri 9/06: 31
Sat 9/07: 37
Sun 9/08: 26
Mon 9/09: 28.5
Tues 9/10: 26
Wed 9/11: 31

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 16
Total Activity Points Used: 0

Weigh-in Results for Week: +1.4

2002-09-15T19:49:00.000-04:00

WEEKLY CHALLENGE RESULTS: WEEK 14

Range: 26 - 31
Total points allowed for week: 217
Total points used this week: 206.5

Thurs 8/29: 31
Fri 8/30: 31
Sat 8/31: 26.5
Sun 9/01: 31
Mon 9/02: 28.5
Tues 9/03: 31.5
Wed 9/04: 27

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 16
Total Activity Points Used: 0

Weigh-in Results for Week: - 1.4

2002-09-15T19:47:00.000-04:00

WEEKLY CHALLENGE RESULTS: WEEK 13

Range: 26 - 31
Total points allowed for week: 217
Total points used this week: 197.5

Thurs 8/22: 26.5
Fri 8/23: 31
Sat 8/24: 31
Sun 8/25: 23.5
Mon 8/26: 27
Tues 8/27: 28.5
Wed 8/28: 30

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 20
Total Activity Points Used: 0

Weigh-in Results for Week: 2 pounds!

2002-09-15T19:45:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #3: Days 28 through 31 and Challenge Results #4: Days 1 through 14

I am so far behind! I'm playing catch up and hopefully will start reporting daily again tomorrow! AUGH!!!

Date: 9/14/02 (Saturday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28.5
Banked: 2.5
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 13.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #4: 13 of 30

Date: 9/13/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 29
Banked: 2
Fruits/Veggies: 6 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 16 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #4: 12 of 30

Date: 9/12/02 (Thursday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28.5
Banked: 2.5
Fruits/Veggies: 4 of 5
Milk: 0 of 2
Water: 13.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #4: 11 of 30

Date: 9/11/02 (Wednesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #4: 10 of 30

Date: 9/10/02 (Tuesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26
Banked: 5
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 4 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #4: 9 of 30

Date: 9/09/02 (Monday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28.5
Banked: 2.5
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 16 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #4: 8 of 30

Date: 9/08/02 (Sunday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26
Banked: 5
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #4: 7 of 30

Date: 9/07/02 (Saturday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 37
Banked: -6
Fruits/Veggies: 1 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 13 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 10 minute walk - moderate (1)
Days OP for Challenge #4: 6 of 30

Date: 9/06/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 62 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 9 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge 4: 6 of 30

Date: 9/05/02 (Thursday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 31 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 6 of 5
Milk: 1.5 of 2
Water: 9 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #4: 5 of 30

Date: 9/04/02 (Wednesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 27
Banked: 4
Weekly Points Used: 206.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3.5 of 5
Milk: 1.5 of 2
Water: 10 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 4 of 30

Date: 9/03/02 (Tuesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31.5
Banked: -.5
Weekly Points Used: 179.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 3 of 30

Date: 9/02/02 (Monday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28.5
Banked: 2.5
Weekly Points Used: 148 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 10.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 2 of 30

Date: 9/01/02 (Sunday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 119.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 13 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 1 of 30

Comments: OMG OMG OMG today was the HARDEST day I've had in MONTHS! My husband had a bunch of friends over for a LAN party and we had chips/iced brownies/pizza out on the bar. ALL DAY! I just wanted to eat eat eat eat eat eat eat! The party started at noon and ended just a few minutes ago. Around 1pm I took my daughter and went to Wendy's for a salad, then we went shopping. I just couldn't sit around all of the junk food calling my name. We came home around 4 and armed with salad fixings for the house and satisfied tummies from our lunch earlier. Later in the evening I had some pizza and nibbled all the rest of my points away. Man do they go FAST with the junk! So when the hunger pains hit a few hours ago I made myself a nice zero point salad and tried to enjoy eating it instead of the pizza I wanted to grab. When the party was over I sent away ALMOST ALL of the food. The cooked pizza - GONE! Most of the brownies - GONE! The deviled eggs - GONE! All I kept was the chips and 4 brownies for the kids lunches at school. The good thing is that they don't tempt me when they're in the pantry and the fridge. It's just when they're sitting in bowls on my counter every time I walk by calling my name. THIS DAY WAS SO DANG HARD! I just wanted to say WHAT THE H*LL and eat til my heart was content. OH HOW I WANTED THAT! But I didn't want to have to come here and write in my journal that I had NOT been OP due to that kind of situation.

So you're probably wondering if I feel strong now...well the answer is NO! I do not feel strong. I feel HUNGRY! What I ate today did not satisfy me at all...except my salads. The junk was gone as fast as I counted the points and IMO was not worth it at all.

Date: 8/31/02 (Saturday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26.5
Banked: 4.5
Weekly Points Used: 88.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 16 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 31 of 31

Date: 8/30/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 62 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 6 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 10.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 30 of 31

Date: 8/29/02 (Thursday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 31 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 1 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 29 of 31

Date: 8/28/02 (Wednesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30
Banked: 1
Weekly Points Used: 197.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 6 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 21 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 28 of 31

Comments: Ate really well early in the day in anticipation of eating out at dinner. Plans fell through and had an abundance of points left so ate right up until 9pm. I was so prepared for eating out that it felt like a letdown to have to come up with my own food. LOL...wasn't really in the mood for "dinner" type food so most of my evening food consisted of smaller snack type things like fruit and yogurt and the such. Perfect for a hot and stormy night.

Tomorrow's weigh-in. I know I'm moving into VFT because I only need to be down .6! I can hardly weight *pun intended*

2002-08-28T09:19:00.000-04:00

WEEKLY CHALLENGE RESULTS: WEEK 12

These results are late! Ooops! I should have posted them last Thursday. Anyway, here they are. I'll post this week's results tomorrow!

Range: 26 - 31
Total points allowed for week: 217
Total points used this week: 212

Thurs 8/15: 30
Fri 8/16: 26.5
Sat 8/17: 31
Sun 8/18: 33
Mon 8/19: 29
Tues 8/20: 31
Wed 8/21: 31.5

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 22
Total Activity Points Used: 0

Weigh-in Results for Week: 2.2 pounds lost!

2002-08-28T09:06:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #3: Days 20 through 27

Date: 8/27/02 (Tuesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28.5
Banked: 2.5
Weekly Points Used: 167.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 27 of 31

Comments: Really didn't feel well this morning, but couldn't face 3 days of no workouts so went to Curves. Was glad I did by the time I left, felt better seeing everyone and getting out of the house. By the end of the day I almost feel normal. Hopefully this means my cold is almost gone...

===================================

Date: 8/26/02 (Monday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 27
Banked: 4
Weekly Points Used: 139 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 26 of 31

Comments: Still not feeling well. Skipped my workout today. Ate better than yesterday so that's good.

===================================

Date: 8/25/02 (Sunday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 23.5
Banked: 7.5
Weekly Points Used: 112 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 3.5 of 2
Water: 6 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 25 of 31

Comments: Coming down with a cold today. Sore throat kept me from much water and had me drinking Diet Rite to cut through the pain. The bubbles help my throat feel better. Didn't even hit my min points today. Guess it won't kill me to have a super low day once in a while, just didn't feel like eating.

===================================

Date: 8/24/02 (Saturday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 81.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2.5 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 16.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 50 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (4) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 24 of 31

Comments: Got talking at Curves and ended up going around 4 times today. We've added two new stations (one machine, one resting block) and the new machine is a butt machine that you do by pushing your leg back so I only do each leg one at a time, which means I have to do this one machine 4 times. My baseline visit time to Curves these days is 35 minutes, but if it's busy I just stay in the circuit until I return to the machine which has been having me do a 40 minute circuit. I don't mind...actually I think I'd like to do it 4 times every time, but it's nice to know I don't have to.

===================================

Date: 8/23/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 57.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3.5 of 5
Milk: 1.5 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 23 of 31

Comments: On the go all day. No snacks just three meals and two of those were out of the house. Starving now at bedtime, but will wait until tomorrow to eat as dinner was just a few hours ago. Probably should have eaten my AP points today as I pretty much didn't stop moving all day. Oh well...tomorrow is another day.

===================================

Date: 8/22/02 (Thursday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26.5
Banked: 4.5
Weekly Points Used: 26.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 3.5 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 min walk - moderate (3)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 22 of 31

Comments: Today I've been in a depression. I think the depression comes from being where I am weight wise and knowing that I failed the last time I reached this point. I'm not sure that I've dealt with the reason I started gaining my weight back last year and it's weighing on me (no pun intended) right now. Perhaps when I get past this point and truly into that virgin fat territory then I'll be alright and realize I'm past this speed bump. I'm doing some serious soul searching and trying to get my mind caught up with my body.

===================================

Date: 8/21/02 (Wednesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31.5
Banked: -.5
Weekly Points Used: 212 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2.5 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 21 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 21 of 31

Comments: Went over again today. Was starving and craving some string cheese so I had 2 points worth as an evening snack. It cut the hunger and I was fine the rest of the evening. Weigh in is tomorrow. I hope I do well. Only 2.8 pounds to virgin fat territory. Keeping my fingers crossed.

===================================

Date: 8/20/02 (Tuesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 180.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 60 min moderate - Richard Simon's Disco Sweat (5) + 10 min light + stretching (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 20 of 31

Comments: This RS Disco Sweat kicked my butt, he's so hard to follow sometimes. I found myself trying to do the steps in the DVD and supplementing it with WATP steps and just dancing and walking. Kept moving at a moderate/high pace for the entire hour. It was fun and FLEW by.

2002-08-22T11:19:00.000-04:00

Weigh-in Day!

Well I'm back from weigh-in. Unfortunately I did not hit Virgin Fat Territory this week, my loss was 2.2 rather than the 2.8 I needed. With any luck next week will see me flying right past my previous lowest rate and right smack into VFT! I can hardly wait!

After VFT then my focus is on hitting my second 10% Woo Hoo!

My current stats are 40.6 pounds lost putting me at 238.8 lbs!

Until Later
-LG

2002-08-20T11:35:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #3: Days 10 through 19

Date: 8/19/02 (Monday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 29
Banked: 2
Weekly Points Used: 149.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2.5 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 16 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 42 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 19 of 31

Comments: Sunday I was so hungry that I actually ate banked points. This has been a hungry week for me for some reason. It's not TOM so I don't have anything to blame it on except maybe my metabolism is just letting me know what I need to do for it.

=======================================

Date: 8/18/02 (Sunday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 33
Banked: -2
Weekly Points Used: 120.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 16 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 18 of 31

=======================================

Date: 8/17/02 (Saturday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 87.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 1.5 of 5
Milk: .5 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 45 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (4) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 17 of 31

=======================================

Date: 8/16/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26.5
Banked: 4.5
Weekly Points Used: 56.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 16 of 31

Comments: Tonight after Cheer practice we went for pizza and wings. Oh how I love the wings...they smell so good, but I refuse to have them ever since I learned they were 4 points A PIECE! I'm not willing to give up the points for those and I know that I won't stop at one. Instead I ordered a personal sized veggie pizza with light cheese. Had enough points left for the whole thing but ended up eating only 3 slices and a salad. I haven't been out for pizza in so long and forgot how much I loved it. Plan to do it again real soon.

=======================================

Date: 8/15/02 (Thursday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30
Banked: 1
Weekly Points Used: 30 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3.5 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 15 of 31

Comments: Not feeling so hot today. Felt better in the evening and went to Rib City after Cheer practice. Love the smoked turkey dinner. Yummy! Didn't exercise at all. Decided I'd make it up on Sunday instead of taking the day off as usual.

=======================================

Date: 8/14/02 (Wednesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28.5
Banked: 2.5
Weekly Points Used: 203 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 0 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 42 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 14 of 31

Comments: Did 4 times around the circuit at Curves yesterday. Felt really good, unfortunately today I'm not feeling so hot. I think I may be getting sick. Went to weigh-in and gained .6 for the week. Not even too bummed about it because I feel so crappy. I just want to crawl into bed but have too much to do today. Augh!

=======================================

Date: 8/13/02 (Tuesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26
Banked: 5
Weekly Points Used: 174.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 0 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 16 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 3 mile WATP video - 45 min - Moderate (4)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 13 of 31

Comments: No veggies today. Just really not in the mood to eat anything healthy. Will make sure to get them in tomorrow.

=======================================

Date: 8/12/02 (Monday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 148.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 12 of 31

Comments: No comments today.

=======================================

Date: 8/11/02 (Sunday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 29.5
Banked: 1.5
Weekly Points Used: 117.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 1.5 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 11 of 31

Comments: No comments today.

=======================================

Date: 8/10/02 (Saturday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31.5
Banked: - .5
Weekly Points Used: 88.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 50 min water aerobics - moderate (4) / 1 mile WATP - 20 min moderate (2)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 10 of 31

Comments: Really did not want to workout today, so I pushed it off as long as I could. Then once I got started I didn't want to stop! LOL...got in the pool and pushed it for almost an hour. Then came in and did the 1 mile tape to round out the workout. By the time I was finished it was after 8:30pm. How's that for pushing it as long as I could. I'm glad I got it in, but I'm so hungry now, I feel I could eat a house. So I've eaten all that I'm willing to eat, and I'm filling out my challenge results as my STOP sign. Once they're done I won't eat any more which is good because I feel that my hunger is not a true hunger but a hunger to fill a void of some sort...most likely boredom.

2002-08-20T11:29:00.000-04:00

I've been so bad! Can you believe I've gone 10 days between posts? I haven't had a gap that big in months! Well I'll be posting my daily logs for the last 10 days in a few minutes, and I'll try to be better about posting each day. It's just been so crazy around here as we get the kids ready to head back to school.

Until Later
-LG

2002-08-10T21:10:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #3: Days 4 through 9

Date: 8/09/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28
Banked: 3
Weekly Points Used: 57 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 7 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 9 of 31

Comments: Dinner and a movie tonight. Saved up points and had Applebee's chicken veggie stir fry w/ sauce on the side. Dotti's lists this as 11 but not sure if included sauce or not. Did the fork dip trick and was just fine.

==============================================

Date: 8/08/02 (Thursday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 29
Banked: 2
Weekly Points Used: 29 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 3.5 of 2
Water: 14.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: WATP 3 Mile Video - 10 mins moderate (1) - 35 mins mod/high (5) / 10 minutes moderate walking (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 8 of 31

Comments: No comments today.

==============================================

Date: 8/07/02 (Wednesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26.5
Banked: 4.5
Weekly Points Used: 204 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 7 of 31

Comments: Tuesday was a milestone day for me...I bought size 18 jean shorts! Whoo Hoo! Of course when I tried them on, I could only get the zipper up about 1/2 way. Well today, I pulled them on and they zipped up all the way! I wore them most of the day and was just so proud. There's something about being back in the teens that makes me happy. I had put on some size 18s last week, but they were Khakis with a bit of stretch built in, so I didn't believe that I was truly in 18s. Now I do! LOL...

Ok, seriously though...yesterday had an attack of I AM SO FAT thoughts. It just can be so very very hard sometimes. I want so badly to be thin, healthy, and at goal. I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I know that I've lost 37 pounds, but I don't see it. Even though my sizes are going down, when that mirror shows me my image I'm still a huge cow. My friend Patti called it a ghost yesterday. Well I need a ghost buster to get rid of my ghost, cause seriously I don't want it hanging around!!! Why did I do this to myself? How could I have gained all of this weight and thought it was ok? Why didn't I stop myself earlier? Why???

So you can see I'm struggling. Staying OP is easy as pie these days, it's dealing with my own mind that's the hard part.

==============================================

Date: 8/06/02 (Tuesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28
Banked: 3
Weekly Points Used: 177.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 6 of 31

Comments: Having trouble getting all of my points in because I have been so busy I just don't have the time to eat. It's kind of nice when this happens because earlier this week I was starving and felt like I'd eat everything in site. The bad side is that when I don't have enough time, I don't tend to eat my fruits and veggies.

I vow to start taking vitamins regularly this week. I need to make that a part of my daily habits...and it will help with the days I miss all my fruits & veggies.

==============================================

Date: 8/05/02 (Monday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 28.5
Banked: 2.5
Weekly Points Used: 149.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 4 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 21 - 8oz servings
Exercise: Leslie Sansone Walk & Firm Fat Builder 2 Mile Walk - 30 min Moderate (2) / 30 minutes walking - Moderate (2)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 5 of 31

Comments: Walking was the name of the game today. I thought we were going to Curves while the girls were at Cheer practice. Unfortunately we had a parent meeting that threw that notion out of the window. So I decided to walk for 1/2 hour while at practice. Earlier in the day I had checked out two new Leslie Sansone (new to me) videos and had done one. I didn't like it as much as I like the Walk Away the Pounds videos, but it was a good workout. I really enjoy her videos and they don't make me feel as oafish as the dance type workout videos. I have not been blessed with rhythm or coordination so dancing is hard for me...walking...on the other hand...is something that comes natural. LOL

==============================================

Date: 8/04/02 (Sunday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30
Banked: 1
Weekly Points Used: 121 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 6 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #3: 4 of 31

Comments: Busy today, went to a new buffet that is almost all salad bar with tons of veggies. It was wonderful. The nice thing is that they had a small area with pizza/pasta/soups/desserts so it suits the entire family. I think we'll do that one again. I had salad, 1/2 a sweet potato, 2 small pieces of pizza, 1/2 a baked potato w/ a spoon of veggie chili on top. I also had 1/4 a cup of FF frozen yogurt. Total point estimation...21 for lunch. Luckily we ate about 3pm and I just made it my lunch/dinner...I was stuffed when we left.

2002-08-04T12:32:00.000-04:00

MEASUREMENT DAY

Today was my monthly measuring day and I'm happy to report that I lost 13 inches! That's a great big change from last month's loss of 5 inches with a gain of 2. Phew! Everything's falling into place.

My total inches lost since 9/22/99 are 42 and my total pounds are 37...that averages more than 1 inch a pound! Woo Hoo!

Until Later
-LG

2002-08-04T12:31:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #3: Day 03

Date: 8/03/02 (Saturday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 20
Banked: 1
Weekly Points Used: 91 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 1 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 21 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1) / 30 minutes line dancing - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 3 of 31

Comments: Didn't end up moving as much as I thought for today. I stayed for the line dancing class for an hour, but only counted 1/2 of that as time because we kept stopping and I don't feel that my heart rate really got up there. My AP slide says I should give myself two points for 1/2 hour of light exercise, but I only gave myself one point for the reasons I stated earlier.

The day was crazy and I didn't end up eating well again...seems to happen a lot on Saturdays. I plan to do better Sunday.

2002-08-03T08:30:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #3: Day 02

Date: 8/02/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 61 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 4 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 2 of 31

Comments: Went to P.F. Chang's for dinner. I pigged out and was stuffed for the first time in a long time. Why? Because we were two hours later for dinner than originally planned. We had planned to go about 6:30 and didn't end up being seated until nearly 8:30. I had only had 9 points all day and was starving. I ordered my typical dinner of Garlic Chicken with extra broccoli and sauce on the side with an order of steamed veggie dumplings and brown rice. I ate EVERY bite! I figured it was only 17 points for my whole dinner. I came home and had some cookies so I'd hit my high end for the day.

Exercise is the name of the game tomorrow. First I'm going to Curves with the girls. Then I go back at noon for a line dancing class and then later I'm scheduled to play some racquetball with DH's best friend's wife. I'm not sure if that will happen, but if it doesn't then I'm going to run errands and go grocery shopping and will get more movement in that way. Fun Fun!

2002-08-03T08:28:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #3: Day 01

Date: 8/01/02 (Thursday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30
Banked: 1
Weekly Points Used: 30 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 4.5 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #3: 1 of 31

Comments: The rest of this week and the next two weeks are going to be really tricky. DD has cheerleading every evening and I'm in a "no food" zone from 5:30-8:30 pm. Unfortunately this tends to be the time I eat a large number of my daily points. So far, this week, I've found myself eating most of my points before leaving and having enough left for a snack when I get home. However, I get stuffed before leaving and I'm not getting in all of my veggies because I just don't have enough time in my day to eat all of this before I leave.

I'd take food with me, but we're out in the 90+ heat and it's just not conducive to eating. Plus we're now going to Curves 3 times a week after dropping the girls off and returning at the end of practice.

Oh, well! I guess this is just life showing me that I can adapt and go with the flow...and it's only three weeks.

2002-08-01T11:29:00.000-04:00

Weekly Challenge Results: Week #9

Range: 26 - 31
Total points allowed for week: 217
Total points used this week: 194

Thurs 7/25: 26
Fri 7/26: 29.5
Sat 7/27: 26
Sun 7/28: 25.5
Mon 7/29: 30
Tues 7/30: 26
Wed 7/31: 31

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 25
Total Activity Points Used: 0

2002-08-01T11:28:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 35

Date: 7/31/02 (Wednesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 194 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 6 of 5
Milk: 4.5 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 45 minutes water aerobics - Moderate (4) \ 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 35 of 35

Comments: Wow! Challenge #2 comes to an end with this post. Amazing how fast this month went. I'm ready to start challenge #3 because I definitely feel this daily accountability is helping me to stay focused and on track.

I made an effort today to eat all of my points (especially since I earned 7 AP points) and get in all my veggies, fruits and water. I was so full tonight before taking my DD to cheerleading I thought I'd burst. But I knew if I didn't eat most of my points before leaving that I'd not eat them when I came home since I don't usually eat late into the evening.

The nice thing was, that there are now 7 of us cheer moms that have joined Curves, so 6 of us went tonight as a group. It was the most fun and fast workout I've had so far. We're going back tomorrow night and will aim for 3 days a week for at least the next two weeks. After that we'll have to see what our cheer schedule is like.

2002-07-31T12:10:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 34

Date: 7/30/02 (Tuesday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26
Banked: 5
Weekly Points Used: 163 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 19 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 50 minutes water aerobics - Moderate (4)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 34 of 35

Comments: Another busy day. Came home at 8:30 with 13 points left for the day for dinner. Too late to eat much but I did the best I could. Still not getting enough veggies in. They seem to be something I get in more easily when I'm home and needing to munch. Hopefully today will be better!

NSV...today I pulled on a pair of shorts that I bought months ago on clearance. They're size 18! Now I'm wearing anywhere from a 24-18 in shorts. What a range! LOL... actually I'm thrilled the shorts fit, because when I bought them I couldn't even think of buttoning them...the gap was way too large. Now I'm wearing them and they're actually comfortable. Glad I tried them on.

===========================================

Challenge Results #2: Day 33

Date: 7/29/02 (Monday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30
Banked: 1
Weekly Points Used: 137 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 19.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 33 of 35

Comments: So busy...sorry not posting much...cramming points in before bed. Augh!!!

2002-07-29T08:23:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 32

Date: 7/28/02 (Sunday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 25.5
Banked: 5.5
Weekly Points Used: 107 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: Day Off!
Days OP for Challenge #2: 32 of 35

Comments: So dang busy again today. Ended up forgetting to eat lunch and had only had 2 points by dinner time. No way could I get them all in throughout the evening because we were at my dad's and they really planned dinner around me and my needs. That was so sweet! But no big fattening foods I could use to spend my points on. Tomorrow I will really try to get it all in...because I feel so much better when I do and I think getting enough milks and veggies really helps with the weight loss.

===========================================

Challenge Results #2: Day 31

Date: 7/27/02 (Saturday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26
Banked: 5
Weekly Points Used: 81.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 31 of 35

Comments: This morning I was supposed to meet the girls to workout at 9:30. So since it's a Saturday, I have to make a concerted effort to roll my butt out of bed an hour before meeting them so I'm awake enough for the workout. Well, I guess neither of them is going today because of various things in their lives. So I sat here at the computer debating whether I should go back to bed, or go ahead to Curves, or just do another workout later today. What a quandary. A few months ago I would have been thrilled to have an excuse not to go workout. Today, however, I've decided that I'm going to go as planned and get it over with for the day, then I can enjoy my Saturday and not have to worry about fitting in a workout at some point. Too weird.

Well, I did force myself to go and was glad that I did. We ended up running around all day and I would not have had time to get any other exercise in if I had tried. Better off early than to not get any in. I would have been fretting about it all day if I hadn't gone.

Didn't do too well on my food today veggie/milk wise, but that seems to be typical of at least one of my weekend days. It's TOM now so I imagine I won't have any trouble getting everything in tomorrow.

===========================================

Challenge Results #2: Day 30

Date: 7/26/02 (Friday)
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 29.5
Banked: 1.5
Weekly Points Used: 55.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 6 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 30 of 35

Comments: I had an easy day yesterday. Some days it's scary how easy it is to stay OP. I wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. That's how it's been for me lately. Yes, I've been hungry and yes I've wanted to eat everything in sight. But somehow I manage to stay away from the food or grab a big 0 point salad to munch on. TOM is just around the corner, so I know that must be why I'm starving the last few days. But still...I'm doing it and it's not even hard right now. That terrifies me because I've never been here before. I actually think I'm at a point where I'm controlling the food...it's not controlling me and it's freaking me out.

===========================================

Challenge Results #2: Day 29

Date: 7/25/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26
Banked: 5
Weekly Points Used: 26 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 6 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 21 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 3 mile WATP video - 10 min moderate (1) / 35 min at moderate/high (4)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 29 of 35

Comments: I had planned to do a pool workout yesterday, but unfortunately mother nature decided that she wanted to stir up the heavens and keep me from my pool all day. I ended up pulling out my Walk Away the Pounds videos last night and doing the 3 mile for the first time. Yikes! It whipped my butt...I did the whole thing with the weights and I could really feel it in my arms and thighs this morning...especially when I was doing my Curves workout.

2002-07-25T13:15:00.000-04:00

WEIGH-IN DAY!

I'm down 3.8! Finally...that about doubles my loss from June and brings me to a total loss for July of 5.6 pounds. I'm now only 5 pounds away from Virgin Fat Territory!! Woo Hoo!!

I was looking through my old journal entries to find my 4 month goals. My goal for 8/1 is to be down 38 pounds...that's my next weigh-in day. If all goes well I should make it...I really only need to lose 1.2 this week to do it. I hope I can do that and not end up with another week where I stay the same or lose very little. The next goal after that is 43 pounds by 9/1. If I make that one, I'll be well in to VFT! YES!!!!

I'll make fresh goals sometime next month.

Until later
-LG

2002-07-25T08:37:00.000-04:00

Weekly Challenge Results: Week #8

Range: 26 - 31
Total points allowed for week: 217
Total points used this week: 201.5

Thurs 7/18: 30.5
Fri 7/19: 27
Sat 7/20: 25
Sun 7/21: 31
Mon 7/22: 31
Tues 7/23: 26.5
Wed 7/24: 30.5

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 29
Total Activity Points Used: 0

2002-07-25T08:34:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 28

Date: 7/24/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30.5
Banked: 201.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 28 of 35

Comments: A peaceful day of eating my own food. How wonderful.

Went to my Wednesday meeting (not the one I weigh-in at) and found out that my friend who's now a leader (she's the one that lost over 200 pounds) will be having a Thursday morning meeting at the same place starting in September. I am switching the day she starts and will leave my current Thursday meeting (my main meeting) to be with her. You may wonder why I go to two meetings. I don't do it every week, but when I have the time I try to go on Wednesdays because I love my Wednesday leader, she was my first leader and she's really a big part of why I made it through the first two years on WW. I don't go always because Wednesdays aren't always good for me, and because its further from my house. I'm not totally thrilled with my Thursday leader, but I keep going there because I love the people and get a lot out of the conversations before and after the meeting. So I get two meetings in and end up with the motivation I need for the week. :-)

I also have to brag! My friend Patti is just weeks from lifetime! She's already getting ready to work for WW first as a weigher and then as a leader. I'm so proud of her I could just burst! She's done so well and looks so good! She's really steady in this journey and has been such an inspiration to me. Knowing I'm accountable to her has really helped me to do the best I can do in my own journey. She works the WW program EXACTLY as it's written and she has lost every week since January with the exception of one week when she was up .2, but I believe she was already at goal at that point. She is a true testament to the WW program. I think she'll be a terrific leader.

Well off to weigh-in in the morning. My scale says it should be a good one this week...and I need it! Wish me luck!

2002-07-23T23:06:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 27

Date: 7/23/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26.5
Banked: 4.5
Weekly Points Used: 171 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 7 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 16 - 8oz servings
Exercise: Mall walking 1.5 hours - moderate (7)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 27 of 35

Comments: Hmmm, today was fraught with challenges...DH is on vacation so we decided to drive to a mall about 1.5 hours away. It's a HUGE mall and we walked it for over 2 hours. I only counted 1.5 as my exercise for the day because we were browsing stores and such and I wasn't always moving. However, he really complained at how fast I walked as we were leaving. He said I was leaving everyone in the dust, and DD said she was having trouble keeping up. LOL...I didn't realize I was walking that fast. By the time we arrived home my legs were sure telling me that I had gotten a workout...I could barely crawl out of the car. LOL

Now the challenges...food of course! Had 2 meals out...lunch & dinner. Lunch was Wendy's so that wasn't too bad...had the Mandarin chicken salad with reduced fat ranch (don't ask) and Chinese noodles. Along with breakfast that left me at 8.5 points down for the day and a good amount available for dinner. Decided to skip the fancy and expensive restaurants at the mall and had Ruby Tuesday's instead so I could have a salad bar and my good old staple...a chicken breast! I ate SO MUCH FOOD! I had two trips to the salad bar for 6 points or so (yes I added a bit of the fun stuff...but just a small bit) and had my chicken breast along with steamed broccoli (sent back once because it was dripping in butter...yuck!) a few teeny pieces of the fried onion strings and a french fry. I ended up with 5 veggie servings in one meal. Total points...17! Way more food than yesterday for way less points. When we arrived at the restaurant I was starving because it was midway through my mall walk and then I was starving when we left for home because I had walked another good clip and burned off a lot of my dinner. Of course it's so late now that I'm not going to eat anything, but it was just good to know that my metabolism was revved up and ready for the veggie invasion. LOL

===========================================

Challenge Results #2: Day 26

Date: 7/22/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 144.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1) / 1 hour water aerobics - moderate (5)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 26 of 35

Comments: Big challenge today was Chinese BUFFET!!! Ohh lala! Luckily we had it at 4pm as a lunch/dinner thing and I had about 27 points available going into it. I had a bunch of bites licks and tastes and lots of food that had broccoli as a main ingredient. Ended up racking up about 24 points at one sitting...man I'm going to miss the days when I can do that! It was good, but not something I'd waste that many points on often. It's out of my system again for another several months at least. LOL

2002-07-22T08:54:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 25

Date: 7/21/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 115.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 7 of 5
Milk: 4 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #2: 25 of 35

Comments: Today was much easier. Spent the day at home trying to catch up on things and cleaning out my closet! Fun Fun Fun! Made sure to eat every point available...gotta keep that metabolism shaken up. No exercise today...decided to take the day off and jump back in tomorrow feet first. I think my body does ok with a day off each week. Truth be told, I was just too dang lazy today. LOL

==============================

Challenge Results #2: Day 24

Date: 7/20/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 25
Banked: 6
Weekly Points Used: 82.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 1 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 9 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 24 of 35

Comments: Today was a very tough food day. Not because of temptation or anything, but because I just didn't really have time or the inclination to eat. Woke up and within a half hour was at Curves to meet my girlfriends. After that came home, ran errands, grabbed lunch at the mall. Left the mall came home grabbed son and DH and left again. Dropped DH off at his friend's house (so I could be designated driver...it was a party) took 5 kids to movies. Came home dropped DS and his friend off at friends house, took DD and two friends to party where DH was. Stayed at party until late. At the party the food looked good but I wasn't really hungry. I think I'd been too busy and too hungry earlier so nothing really looked appetizing. Had two chicken skewers (about 2oz of chicken) and a piece of lemon pound cake or something similar. Didn't drink because I never drink and was designated driver. Came home let girls swim for 1/2 hour and dropped dead into bed.

So even though I got almost to my minimum I didn't get my veggies in, nor did I get all of my milk in. I really only ate today to alleviate hunger pangs and to try to reach minimum. It was not a healthy food day by any means.

2002-07-20T11:20:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 23

Date: 7/19/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 27
Banked: 4
Weekly Points Used: 57.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 7 of 5
Milk: 5 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 23 of 35

Comments: Ahhh so nice to be back to my own food today. I just about over dosed on veggies and other yummy things. I felt so in control and had so much food. You definitely get more bang for your points when you eat healthy and at home compared to restaurants. It's such a nice feeling.

2002-07-19T08:44:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 22

Date: 7/18/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30.5
Banked: .5
Weekly Points Used: 30.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 4 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 13 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes water aerobics - Moderate/Heavy (3) / 20 minutes low impact aerobic video - Moderate (2)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 22 of 35

Comments: Well, I've made it. My restaurant eating frenzy is over. Phew! Can I tell you that this was a tough tough week? It took everything I had in me to stay my course and not indulge in some of the delicious dishes on each menu. Instead I ordered my "healthy" dishes and had "B"ites, "L"icks, and "T"astes (BLTs) of everyone's meals that looked yummy to me. I did the same with the appetizers and breads. Never did I have a full serving. I tried to be satisfied with one bite. That's a big accomplishment for me because I would usually use whatever excuse I could come up with in order to eat whatever I wanted.

I stayed within my points every day. The one day I went over (yesterday) I used my AP points that had been earned that day. However when I weighed in today I had stayed the same as last week. On one hand I was glad that I hadn't gone up, on the other I was pissed. It seems that since I worked so hard, I should have seen a loss. It seems the weeks that I work the hardest are the weeks I see no rewards on the scale. It just pisses me off sometimes. It, being my body. I have a very uncooperative body. It seems to want to stay fat regardless of what I do and it's driving me nuts.

Bob Greene said today, on Oprah, that we should not focus on the end result without paying attention to where we are today. I thought about that for awhile and sorta agree. However, I don't want to enjoy or focus on where I am now, I want to be somewhere else if not at the end of this journey. I hate where I am now. I hate being fat. I hate being a slow loser. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. I almost feel as if I'll never see my goal weight.

So that's what I've been feeling today. I'll keep plugging on as I am and hopefully something will start to happen.

2002-07-17T21:29:00.000-04:00

Weekly Challenge Results: Week #7

Range: 26 - 31
Total points allowed for week: 217
Total points used this week: 205

Thurs 7/11: 25.5
Fri 7/12: 27
Sat 7/13: 31.5
Sun7/14: 31
Mon 7/15: 26
Tues7/16: 30
Wed 7/17: 34

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 24
Total Activity Points Used: 4.5

2002-07-17T21:27:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 21

Date: 7/17/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 34
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 205 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 1 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 21 of 35

Comments: Very hungry and busy today. Ended up eating all of my AP points and ending up with the highest day of the week. Unbelievable...made it through 4 days of eating out and today was the day I was high. It's kind of ironic.

Didn't work out until late...we were so busy that I didn't make it until I had dropped the kids at church. Tomorrow I'm hoping to do an hour in the pool at some point...I really enjoy the pool workouts.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day. Today the scale showed me down .5 but I'll be happy if I stay the same after the week I've had. Of course a good loss would be quite ok with me too...the only thing I dread is a gain. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

2002-07-17T08:32:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 20

Date: 7/16/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30
Banked: 1
Weekly Points Used: 171 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 1.5 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #2: 20 of 35

Comments: What a day. I'm so exhausted I just am ready to crash. Went to the mall and finished school clothes shopping for the kids. While there had Chik Fil A for lunch...it was 2pm and I was running on 2 points by then. Can you say starving? I had left my house at 9:15 am and hadn't taken any snacks with me. After that, back to my Mom's and we hung out until dinner. Went to PF Chang's and ordered my usual, unfortunately they brought out my chicken w/ a light coating of something on it instead of plain like normal. I only ate a small portion because I'm sure the points were a bit higher. Luckily they did bring me an extra bowl of broccoli so my dinner was mostly broccoli and steamed veggie dumplings. But it was yummy so I wasn't complaining.

After dinner we went to Ben & Jerry's for dessert. I haven't been there in nearly a year so I had to pull out my Pocket PC to check point values. I found that their frozen yogurt flavors range from 4 to 4.5 points. So I got their chocolate brownie frozen yogurt on a sugar cone for 5 points. It was NOT typical B&J ice cream, but it was good none the less. Not something I'd seek out, but good for a very occasional treat.

Tomorrow my family leaves and I am happy to say that NO restaurant plans are on Wednesday's menu. I can hardly wait to get back to my staples. Thursday I might be eating out with my father, but I'll face that later. LOL

2002-07-15T23:05:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 19

Date: 7/15/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26
Banked: 5
Weekly Points Used: 141 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 4 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 13 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1) / 50 minutes water aerobics (4)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 19 of 35

Comments: Another day down, another dinner that I've made it through. Ended up with an abundance of points, but not enough time or hunger to eat them. Tomorrow we go to PF Chang's for dinner and I can't wait. Already know that I'm going to have my chicken/broccoli dinner and steamed dumplings. I have enough banked points that I can eat every piece of chicken on my plate! Woo Hoo! I can't wait!

2002-07-15T09:04:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 18

Date: 7/14/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 115 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #2: 18 of 35

Comments: Went out to dinner at my favorite restaurant. Experienced some NSV (non-scale victories) while out. First we had appetizers...my favorite spinach con queso (sp?) and nachos plus pepperoni/sausage pizza. I had 1 chip with a small amount of the con queso and 1 piece of the pizza. With the pizza it was almost a cracker crust and tiny pieces, but they covered the entire bottom with pepperoni. I pulled off all of the pep and sausage and had basically the crust with a small amount of sauce and cheese. Normally I would have munched on the chips and spinach dip until it was gone. I just adore it...it's so creamy and cheesy. Everyone else was chowing down and I was just sitting there nursing my diet coke. Then we went inside and ordered dinner. I ordered my usual BBQ chicken pizza (same cracker crust) asked the waitress to bring me out a to-go box right away and put half the pizza in. I also ordered a side of steamed veggies. After we ordered they brought out their famous fresh sourdough bread with chive butter. OMG! I love that stuff. In the old days we'd end up with a loaf per person before dinner was even served. Today I ate 2 teeny bites of my daughter's piece. What success!!!

I spent 20 points on dinner tonight, but enjoyed every bite. Unfortunately, they were not well used points as I was hungry later but I'm going to bed without eating anything more as I'm out of points for the day.

There's a possibility that I'll be eating out 3 more times this week. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday (my dad wants to take us out.) I'm having a ball, but I'll be thrilled when this week is over foodwise. Unfortunately I'll be terribly sad because my mom will be leaving and I may not see her again for several months. I just hate it when she leaves.

2002-07-14T09:20:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 17

Date: 7/13/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 31.5
Banked: Used .5 of an activity point
Weekly Points Used: 84 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 4 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 21 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1) / 60 minutes water aerobics - Moderate (5)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 17 of 35

Comments: Today was easy, only ate lunch out and that was really in...at my Mom's condo. I had some of my snacks over there already and so just had a nice light lunch. Dinner was at my house where we had chicken on the grill with veggies and mashed potatoes. Yummy and low points. My cousin spent the night and wanted to go swimming, so we got in the pool and I decided to do my workout while gabbing. Ended up doing an hour of non-stop movement in the pool. Boy was I stiff afterwards. But it sure felt good to earn 8 activity points for the day. I only ate .5 of an activity point today. I hope it was enough.

Now I have to vent a bit. Took my cousin over to my Dad's house to see him. He's her godfather and they've not seen each other in years and years. While there my dad complimented me on how well I'm doing and how good I look. Then he tells me not to stop. He says that he and my step-mom were walking earlier that day, and talking about me, she had told him that I'd stop. That I'd not make it all the way. How's that for confidence? I have to say that it hurt my feelings. Yes, I did quit before. Yes I've never been thin. Yes, I did gain a lot of my last loss back. But damn it! This time I stopped gaining weight before it was ALL back, and this time I am exercising and moving my body and doing it all in this fabulous groove. It just seems that no one is going to believe it until I do it, and you'd think that it wouldn't bother me because I've said before that I've always been a quitter. So past experiences shape peoples views of you, but I want support and confidence in me along this journey. I guess I'll just have to find it within myself in order to keep on keeping on. Of course that's pretty much what I've been doing anyway. But, this just hurt for some reason. Now I've kind of got that "I'll show them." attitude going, but also I kind a feel like if I fail it'll be a "I told you so." situation. :-(

Well off to face what tomorrow will bring. I'm starving already so I hope that's not an indicator of what the day will be.

2002-07-12T22:41:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 16

Date: 7/12/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 27
Banked: 4
Weekly Points Used: 52.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 16.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 16 of 35

Comments: First night with my Mom in town and did well. Had plenty of points going into dinner and actually banked 4 for the day. I'm sure that my days won't all be this easy, point wise, but I'm prepared. Now I have 9.5 banked which will help if I have to go over for any reason. I'm determined to be successful and to prove to myself that this has been a complete lifestyle change rather than a "diet." I think it's tests like this that really prove it to me...eventually I'll not have to test myself but for now it works.

On the exercise front, I plan to go to Curves in the morning with my friends Patti and Dana. I wasn't going to, but since they'll both be going I thought it'd be fun. They keep me so busy talking that the circuit goes even faster than normal. Then Sunday I'll probably take off or just do some water aerobics. We'll have to see what the weekend brings.

2002-07-12T08:18:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 15

Date: 7/11/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 25.5
Banked: 5.5
Weekly Points Used: 25.5 of 217
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 4 of 2
Water: 13.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes water aerobics - Moderate (3)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 15 of 35

Comments: Very busy today, not much time to think about food. Could have hit my minimum, but forgot to have a snack before bed. I love days like this...when WW is effortless. LOL Unfortunately days like these don't happen very often. Mom comes tomorrow... will be very busy all weekend. I can hardly wait. Whenever she's here I feel like life is centered and all is well in the world. I wish we lived near each other. I definitely consider her my best friend. Now, if I can only do really well with my food over the next 5 days. I'm going to focus really hard and make sure I keep up with my activity as well. It may mean going to Curves every day to insure that I get something done and out of the way before going to see my family. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do except for tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm heading to Curves first thing in the morning.

2002-07-11T11:52:00.000-04:00

Weigh-in Day

Whoo Hoo! Did something right this week because I lost 1.8 on the scales. Bringing me to a total loss of 33 pounds! Only 8 more pounds to lose before VFT! I can hardly wait. Let's hope next week shows a good loss too.

My mom's coming in town tomorrow and that usually means lots of yummy things to eat. Hmmm...I will be strong, I will be strong, I will be strong. :-)

Until Later
-LG

2002-07-11T11:49:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 14

Date: 7/10/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 29
Banked: 2
Weekly Points Used: 268 of 281
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 5 of 2
Water: 17.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 14 of 35

Comments: Weigh-in day is tomorrow. I hope there's a loss when I step on the scale. I'm ready to start seeing some downward motion and get this show on the road.

2002-07-11T11:48:00.000-04:00

Weekly Challenge Results: Week #6

I've added two days to this week so I can get my weeks caught up to my journals which go Thursday - Wednesday. Next week I'll have it back to normal.

Range: 27 - 32 (Tues 7/02 & Wed 7/03) / 26 - 31 (Starting Thurs 7/04)
Total points allowed for week: 281
Total points used this week: 268

Tues: 7/02: 32.5
Wed: 7/03: 34
Thurs: 7/04: 25
Fri: 7/05: 34
Sat: 7/06: 29
Sun: 7/07: 27.5
Mon: 7/08: 30.5
Tues: 7/09: 26.5
Wed: 7/10: 29

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 19
Total Activity Points Used: 5

2002-07-09T21:46:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 13

Date: 7/08/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 30.5
Banked: .5
Weekly Points Used: 212.5 of 281
Fruits/Veggies: 8.5 of 5
Milk: 4 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 13 of 35

Comments: Went to my SIL's Pampered Chef party tonight and was really good. Skipped the dessert and had a two teeny pieces of foccacia (sp) bread w/ tomatoes, garlic, and mozzarella cheese. My pieces had eensy amounts of cheese so I counted both as 5 points. Not too bad and they were delicious. Had 8.5 points to kill when I came home so I a late snack and managed to hit the near top of my points. That's what I was aiming for today.

As I was doing my journal spreadsheet tonight I realized that I'd neglected to change my point ranges on there from 32 to 31 so every day what I reported as banked points are off by 1. So I really have 3 less points than I had thought. Fine by me cause I probably won't eat them, but I have a thing about numbers and they must be accurate or they drive me crazy.

Challenge Results #2: Day 12

Date: 7/09/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 26.5
Banked: 4.5
Weekly Points Used: 239 of 281
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 2.5 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes water aerobics - moderate - 2
Days OP for Challenge #2: 13 of 35

Comments: I was bound and determined to NOT workout in any capacity today. I had such a headache earlier in the day and decided not to go to Curves. However, I've found that I have this compulsion to make sure I do something exercise wise at least 6 days a week. So I hopped in the pool tonight and moved non stop for 30 minutes. When I got out of the pool my legs were so sore and I felt like I had walked 3 miles. It was nice. I probably could have kept going but we had some nasty weather rolling in on us so I had to get out. I just love shaking up my routine and doing these other exercises. It definitely keeps me from being bored.

2002-07-07T21:57:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 11

Date: 7/07/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 27.5
Banked: 4.5
Weekly Points Used: 182 of 281
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 4 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 21 minutes bike riding - Moderate (2)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 11 of 35

Comments: Another low point day for me today. Just haven't been very hungry. I'm listening to my body and eating when it tells me it's hungry. I was low on my veggies but I just couldn't force them down today. Oh well, tomorrow's another day.

Did manage to ride my bike for over 20 minutes today...a minute over...whoo hoo! Maybe next time I'll make it for another 7 minutes...I seem to go in 7 minute increments so now I'm aiming at 28 minutes.

Tomorrow Curves is open again! YIPPEEE!!! I've really missed it the last 4 days...I hope it doesn't kill me tomorrow after having so many days off. I plan on getting there first thing in the morning. Ahh routine is such a nice thing.

2002-07-07T10:28:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 10

Date: 7/06/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 29
Banked: 3
Weekly Points Used: 154.5 of 281
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise: Bike Riding -14 minutes - Moderate (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 10 of 35

Comments: This morning I was so depressed over my recent measurements (overall I lost 5 and gained 3 for a grand total loss of 2) that I barely ate anything all day until 6pm or so. Then I forced myself to eat dinner and some snacks before bed at 11. This has been the most frustrating time of trying to lose weight I've ever experienced in my life. However, I've come to realize that I'm doing some remarkable things. Even though I spend a lot of time bitching and moaning in my comments and in my diary, I've not given up. I read back through much of my diary today and realized that I should have given up several times over the last few months as was my old way of doing things. Maybe this time really is different. Maybe this time I'm really going to make it. Typically I'm a quitter. If it's hard and it requires me to be outside of my comfort zone I quit. That's all there is to it. I'm not talking about just losing weight, but in all aspects of my life. I like things easy and uncomplicated. It seems that maybe I'm not just getting older, but I'm getting more willing to be outside of my comfort zone. I think about that a lot these days and try to keep myself going instead of quitting. So even if I'm not losing weight quickly, and I'm not losing inches quickly, I am gaining more knowledge about myself and learning to walk on the edges of my comfort zones.

2002-07-06T10:45:00.000-04:00

MEASUREMENT DAY

Well today is measurement day. I've been looking forward to it all month, especially because I've been exercising so much. However, it was pretty disappointing. This month I lost less than 3 pounds and only ended with a total loss of 2 inches!!! I actually gained inches in some parts of my body...how depressing.

Here's the tally:

Total Inches Lost: 5
Total Inches Gained: 3

Doesn't that suck??? This is always why I said I didn't want to exercise while I was fat...I didn't want to turn the fat me into a muscular fat me. Is that what's happening? Is last month just a fluke? Will this month be better? Goodness I hope so or I don't know if I'll have the strength to keep this up. This just sucks so bad. You work so hard and do everything the way you're supposed to and what? NOTHING! a big fat NOTHING!

The month of May I didn't exercise and I lost 6.8 pounds and 10 inches. The month of June I exercise 5-6 days a week and end up with less than 3 pounds and a total inches lost of 5? What in the hell is up with that? I just freaking want to cry. I hate this so damn much. Even with the slow loss I was hoping the inches would be better and give me the strenght to carry on this month.

I'll just have to be happy in the knowledge that I could have gained weight and gotten bigger all over if I wasn't doing this. But you know what...it really doesn't help. I've worked my ass off this month and this just sucks the big one. Now don't freak on me and think I'm going to go binge or anything...I'm not. I plan on staying OP and continuing to exercise...but geeze it just sucks when you're not seeing the results. It kind of makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing wrong. Maybe I really am allergic to exercise...?

Damn it! I wish I had never let myself get so fat in the first place. This struggle sucks...I just want to be thin...healthy...and I feel like my body does not want to be that way at all. It's all my fault. I can't blame this on anyone else...but it still sucks.

Until later
-LG

2002-07-05T21:10:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 09

Date: 7/05/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 34
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 125.5 of 281 (I've added two days to this week so I can get my weeks caught up to my journals which go Thursday - Wednesday. Next week I'll have it back to normal.)
Fruits/Veggies: 8 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 23 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 43 minutes - Sweatin' to the Oldies - moderate (3)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 09 of 35

Comments: Woo hoo! Made it all the way through Sweatin to the Oldies. I've only had the video since 1990 and I've NEVER seen the ending. Just amazing!!! I almost didn't exercise today...with Curves closed it's just so easy to put it off until "tomorrow." I'm glad I didn't put it off, because I feel so good when I'm finished. Of course during the video I felt oafish again...God did not bless me with gracefulness. AUGH...glad I was in a room alone. LOL

Today I ate all 3 activity points. I sure hope eating those makes a difference because I feel really guilty when I eat them. However, two weeks will not kill me and can not make much difference in the entire scheme of this journey. I'm just hoping that the results will be positive and my weight loss will kick start again. If not, I'll just keep playing with the points...it's so hard because I've also decided to drop myself down to the correct point range (26-31) retroactive as of yesterday. I figure if I do this, I can have a true accounting of whether or not it's helping to eat my APs. Plus it's easier for me to just do it and not have to worry about doing it at a later time. I figure having to eat the APs will make the change invisible to me...it is only one point after all :-)

2002-07-05T09:21:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 08

Date: 7/04/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 26-31
Used: 25
Banked: 6
Weekly Points Used: 91.5 of 224
Fruits/Veggies: 5.5 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 18 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #2: 08 of 35

Comments: Can you believe it? I banked 6 points today!!! That's a first for a holiday I think. We spent the day boating and had packed subs, snacks and fruit. I journaled everything I had packed for myself prior to leaving and brought myself right up to the maximum for the day. Fortunately we were having so much fun that food wasn't even an issue. I snacked on a banana and some pretzels when I was hungry and then we stopped for dinner about 7pm and I had half my sub. Ended the outing with 11 points left for the day at 11pm so I had one of my daughter's flag cookies she had made and decorated for 5 points. It was yummy and a quick point boost before bed.

On the exercise front I didn't get much in. We ended up getting a good parking spot at the parade so no walking there. I think the extent of my exercise was standing for 1.5 hours at the parade and being bounced around the ocean as we sped toward (and back from) the fireworks. My body feels like it got an intense workout today, I'm so sore and stiff.

2002-07-05T09:19:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 07

Date: 7/03/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 27-32
Used: 34
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 66.5 of 224
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 22 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 07 of 35

Comments: Weigh-in today I was the same as last week. I spoke to my leader and she suggested that I eat my activity points and see if that helps. We also decided that I should stay at 32 points for one more week before dropping that final point to the new range. Her advice was to try anything new for two weeks, not give up after one week like I've been doing. So today I did that and I ate 2 of my activity points. I refuse to bank them, but will attempt to eat at least two of them a day...when earned. :-) We'll see what happens.

Tomorrow is a busy one. We'll be going to the parade in the morning and hopefully will get in a good walk at that point. Then we're going boating and will watch the fireworks from the ocean. Should be a nice simple day.

2002-07-02T21:16:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 06

Date: 7/02/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 27-32
Used: 32.5
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: of 224
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 21 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1) / 7 minutes bike riding - Moderate (1) / 18 minutes yoga - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 06 of 35

Comments: Ooooh baby! I did the exercise today! Pulled out my bike, hubby pumped up the tires and off my daughter and I went. 1 time around the neighborhood behind our house...7 minutes! I thought I was going to lose my thighs if I went much longer. I hope to do 10 minutes next time. LOL Where have the days gone when I would bike ride for hours without feeling anything but the wind in my hair? I loved being on my bike as a kid. I hope I can recapture that feeling.

After the bike ride my daughter and I decided to pull out the Yoga equipment and the Yoga DVD that I've NEVER done and try it out. Well it's 45 minutes and I only made it through 18. We'll have to work on that...but man does Yoga kick your butt! I'll be doing it over the weekend while Curves is closed and I hope by the end of the summer that I can make it through all 45 minutes. I'd love to add that to my routine 2 or 3 times a week.

Exercise was definitely the name of the game today. I even ate 1/2 of an activity point! Whoo Hoo!

Tomorrow is weigh-in and I'm scared. My scale this morning showed me with a 1.5 gain for the week... up from 1# gain yesterday. I was really mad at that scale...doesn't it realize it's going in the WRONG DIRECTION??? What is it thinking? Well this morning I had a nice little pity party for myself because I'm struggling so much with the losing issue. But I've shaken it off and am trying to move on. I think what I need is to drop down another size or see a bit 6 pound loss on the scale or something else momentous to kick me out of these doldrums. The Non-Scale Victories I've been having lately are so little that I try to convince myself they've not really happened or they're not really victories.

It's pretty defeatist thinking and I am hoping that by counterbalancing that with doing productive things like exercise I'll keep myself going in the right direction. I'm totally determined to do this this time...maybe that's why it's so hard. My mind and body are fighting. I think sometimes that my body likes being fat and does NOT want to be thin and healthy.

Ok, so I have to tell you the one fun thing I did today...while shopping at the Walmart SuperCenter we had lunch at McDonalds. I had planned on trying the new chicken flatbread sandwich, but they didn't have it. So I figured since I had already figured on those points (13) I'd splurge and have a Big Mac (14) and OH WAS IT GOOD! That was all I ordered so I asked for a knife and I cut it up into four sections and savored each one. I figure today is one day that I'll have definitely gotten enough fat in...I think a Big Mac has something like 34 grams a serving. I almost never eat foods with that much fat in them these days. But it was GOOD! LOL

2002-07-01T22:03:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 05

Date: 7/01/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 27-32
Used: 30
Banked: 2
Weekly Points Used: 219 of 226
Fruits/Veggies: 4 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 25 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (3) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 05 of 35

Comments: Today I did an extra circuit at Curves and really liked doing 4 times around. I probably could have kept going for another 2 circuits, but figured I'd be smart to stop while I was ahead. Nothing else much is happening, just plodding along on this journey of mine waiting for something to give and some results to rear their head so I know I'm on the right track. Sometimes I think the slowness of this whole thing will be the end of me. It's so much easier to slowly gain the weight while enjoying Big Macs and Chalupas and all of the other fun to eat fattening foods that got me where I am today. I was pretty oblivious so the slowness of that journey didn't faze me a bit. This journey, on the other hand, has been agonizingly slow and since I'm so focused on what I'm doing it feels even slower. Some days I feel less like the turtle racing the hare and more like a snail racing the turtle racing the hare.

Oh well off to bed where I'll again dream that tomorrow morning I'll awake and find I've been transformed into Christy Brinkley and this was all just a nightmare! HA! I should be so lucky!

2002-07-01T12:13:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 04

Date: 6/30/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 27-32
Used: 30.5
Banked: 1.5
Weekly Points Used: 188.5 of 226
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 23 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge #2: 04 of 30

Comments: Decided to NOT exercise today. It felt weird not to be doing something, I am looking forward to working out tomorrow. I'll be doing Curves Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday because they're closed from the 4th until the following Monday. I'll have to be really good and get out there walking on the days they're closed because I refuse to go 4 days with no exercise. How weird is that???? I can't believe I just said that!!!

Ok...this is sorta weird...I've noticed today that my thighs are really getting lumpy as the fat deposits leave. I was looking in the mirror after my shower and just about freaked. I HATE the way look but am willing to live with them as I take this journey. Hopefully at the end they'll be smooth and muscular and the lumpiness will be just a bad memory. It's like the lumps increased over night. I'm sure that's a good sign but ICK! ICK! ICK! These are all things I never even thought about prior to the start of my metamorphoses.

2002-06-30T11:00:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 03

Date: 6/29/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 27-32
Used: 28.5
Banked: 3.5
Weekly Points Used: 158 of 226
Fruits/Veggies: 5 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 22 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 03 of 30

Comments: Despite it being TOM and me being starving today I was able to bank points for the first time all week. Early in the day I was starving and felt like I could eat all of Taco Bell when we stopped for lunch. Luckily I stuck to my staples and only had a 11.5 pt lunch. Then for dinner I made my 5 point HUGE meal that I call Messy Eggs. I'll post my recipe below. These Messy Eggs save me so much when I'm starving and need a lot of food on a few points. Later I ate half a spaghetti squash w/ some season salt. By then I was so full that I didn't even want any dessert. Next thing I knew it was bedtime and I survived another Saturday.

Messy Eggs

1 cup hash brown potatoes - 1 pt
1/2 cup Egg Beaters - 1 pt
2 oz Turkey Kielbasa - 2 pts
1/4 cup chopped onion - 0 pt
1/4 cup chopped grn. pepper - 0 pt
1/4 cup ff mozzarella - 1pt

I brown the potatoes in a pan sprayed with Pam. Once they're browned a bit I throw in the veggies and the turkey kielbasa (chopped into small pieces.) Continue to brown all ingredients stirring occasionally. Once they're all warm and a bit brown I spread them evenly out in the skillet, turn the heat down and pour the Egg Beaters over the whole mess. I continue to stir until the eggs are firmed to scrambled consistency and everything is mixed together. Turn the heat off, throw the cheese on top of the mess and then cover the pan for 2 minutes. Pour the whole mess onto a plate and enjoy.

It looks a bit gross, but it's delicious and very filling.

2002-06-29T10:33:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 02

Date: 6/28/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 27-32
Used: 32
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 129.5 of 226
Fruits/Veggies: 1 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 02 of 30

Comments: Saggy skin alert, ok yes I am obsessed, I admit it. Bear with me here. I'm getting better I swear. Anyway, what I wanted to share is that my Curves owner suggested to me that I try Nivea Q10(?) skin firming lotion. She's been using it and she says it helps keep her skin more supple. I of course rushed to the drug store to buy it. I also learned that Shea Butter is good for this purpose as well. So I've gotten my name on a waiting list for it at Bath & Body Works. I will now routinely lotion up after each shower instead of being lazy and just drying off :-)

I'm going to do anything I can to stop the sags from hitting. From what I've heard drinking water, slow weightloss, and exercise are the three main ingredients to avoiding sagginess. I already do all three so I'm now going to TRY to stop obsessing on saggy skin NOW. LOL

2002-06-28T21:57:00.000-04:00

ONLY ONE POUND!

Hello, do you know me? If you don't you should. I'm a pound of fat, and I'm the happiest pound of fat that you would ever want to meet. Want to know why? It's because no one ever wants to lose me; I'M ONLY ONE POUND, just a pound. Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds or fifteen pounds, but never only one, so I just stick around and happily keep you fat. Then I add to myself ever so slyly so that you never seem to notice it, that is until I've grown to ten, twenty or even more pounds in weight. Yes, it's fun being ONLY ONE POUND of fat, left to do as I please. So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying "Oh, I only lost one pound." (as if that were such a terrible thing!!!) For you see, if you do this you'll encourage others to keep me around because they will think I'm not worth losing. And I love being around you-your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you. HAPPY DAYS. After all, I'M ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT!!!

-Author Unknown
(This was posted on the WW message board and I thought it was a good thing to have easily available as a reminder. Especially after the funk I had Thursday over "only" losing .6 of a pound.)

2002-06-28T20:05:00.000-04:00

MY THEME SONG

I've adopted the song "Faith of the Heart" as my theme song. Yes, I know it's the theme song for the latest in the Star Trek franchise, but it also says pretty much what I feel as I travel through this journey.

Lyrics by Diane Warren

It´s been a long road, getting from there to here.
It´s been a long time, but my time is finally near.
And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Nothing´s in my way.
And they´re not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna hold me down.

Cause I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I´ve got faith, faith of the heart.

It´s been a long night. Trying to find my way.
Been through the darkness. Now I finally have my day.
And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky.
And they´re not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna change my mind.

Cause I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I´ve got faith, faith of the heart.

I´ve known the wind so cold, I´ve seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I´ve been through the fire and I´ve been through the rain.
But I´ll be fine ...

Cause I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I´ve got faith, faith of the heart.

Cause I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I´ve got faith, faith of the heart.

2002-06-28T08:22:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results #2: Day 01

Date: 6/27/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 27-32
Used: 31.5
Banked: .5
Weekly Points Used: 97.5 of 226
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 18.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1) / 30 minutes walking moderate (2)
Days OP for Challenge #2: 01 of 30

Comments: Well after today's funk I decided that I needed to do something. So I did. Instead of sitting around pouting and feeling icky I got up and went to Curves to workout. So in addition to my normal Thursday walking, I broke a good sweat at Curves and ended up feeling much better for the day than I had been prior to the exercise.

I just know I'm in a different place, during this journey, than I've ever been before. Before I would have let a funk like this throw me off and either said the hell with the exercise or went and stuffed my face. I would NEVER turn around and add MORE exercise to my day. I still hate almost every minute of it, but I am really starting to feel that it's something I need and want to do. Me? The girl that's so allergic to exercise that it makes me sweat? Hmmm... what's happening here?

So I end this day reminding myself that my motto is: Slow and Steady Wins the Race. I guess I'm just going to realize I'm a turtle and keep working my way through this journey.

2002-06-27T11:22:00.000-04:00

WEIGH-IN DAY

Well I've just returned from weigh-in and I'm down .6 this week. My loss this month has been so damned slow! I've not even lost 3 pounds and this month is the month that I've exercised at least 5 times a week. Why the heck isn't this showing on the scale? It just sucks so bad! I hate this! I have so far to go and sometimes it seems as if that road is so long that I'll never possibly find the end...it's like that elusive end of the rainbow.

Starting today I'm dropping 1 point from my range and next week will drop the other. I feel it's probably better for my state of mind to do it gradually as I had planned. Maybe I should have dropped last week and I would have seen a better loss? We'll see.

I'm not in great spirits today...haven't been for several days actually. Not sure if it's just because TOM is soon to be here, or if I'm heading into a depression. I really need to find myself a shrink I think...I wonder what my insurance will cover? Hmmm...

Ok, some good news...Patti hit her goal today...her total loss has been 60 pounds over the last year. I'm so happy for her. She's really done well and she just looks great. She's my motivation. I'm hoping to post a before and after page for her on my site as soon as she'll fork over some pictures. I'm glad for her that she's succeeded. I'm hoping that maintenance and lifetime will be a breeze for her. GO PATTI!!!!

Well I'm off to wallow a bit.

Until Later
-LG

2002-06-27T08:45:00.000-04:00

NEW CHALLENGE

Today I start my next 30 days of staying OP. The girls on my list will be starting tomorrow, but I'm going to plug ahead for today and go for 30 more days. I really think it's helped me keep my mind straight, even if I haven't seen huge losses along with it. Just having to write something every day helps me to track where my issues are at any given time because I print this blog out and keep it in a notebook to refer to offline. I am determined to be a success this time, so whatever it takes is what I'm going to do.

Until Later
-LG

2002-06-27T08:42:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 30

Date: 6/26/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 33
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 66 of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 1 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 20 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge: 30 of 30

Comments: Today I was hit with a huge fear...the fear of saggy skin. I was at a website created by a woman that had gastric bypass surgery. She was only 46 years old and her skin was so gross I wanted to puke. Of course she'd lost a lot more weight than I'd have to lose...I think she was 500# at her heaviest...but it started me thinking. Am I going to lose this weight only to have a belly and arms and thighs that are nothing but loose skin? The idea of that and the idea of surgery just makes me crazy. My friend, who's now a leader, lost 215 pounds and has been going through the surgeries to remove her excess skin. She's not much older than I am so that freaks me out that I'll have to deal with this issue. She exercised and drank her water while she lost. It took her over 2 years to lose the weight so it wasn't a fast thing like gastric bypass. Anyhow I had nightmares about this because I just don't think I could handle it. I'd almost prefer being fat than having skin hanging everywhere. Gawd I wish I'd never become fat! EVER!!!!

2002-06-27T08:35:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 29

Date: 6/25/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 33
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 33 of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 5.5 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 20 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes walking moderate (2)
Days OP for Challenge: 29 of 30

Comments: My thigh area hurt pretty badly while I was walking today, but I managed 1.5 miles and 30 minutes. I ate every single point and if I have to go down a level this week I'm going to cry. I sure hope I show a loss on Thursday...but this time just so I can convince myself to stay in this point range. I've been so hungry and definitely glad I have the number of points I have. I have no clue what I'm going to do when I hit the lower levels. Oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it...next year! LOL

2002-06-25T08:18:00.000-04:00

Weekly Challenge Results Week #4

Range: 28-33
Total points allowed for week: 231
Total points used this week: 224

Tues: 6/18: 33
Wed: 6/19: 33
Thurs: 6/20: 33
Fri: 6/21: 33
Sat: 6/22: 28
Sun: 6/23: 33
Mon: 6/24: 31

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 15
Total Activity Points Used: 0

2002-06-25T08:16:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 28

Date: 6/24/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 31
Banked: 2
Weekly Points Used: 224 of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 12 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge: 28 of 30

Comments: I bought a home scale today...the Ultimate Body Fat scale from Tanita. Went to Bed Bath and Beyond and Linens & Things and tried out all of the Tanita scales. I ended up with this one because it was inexpensive and because it allowed me to weigh without doing the body fat at the same time...this was only available on another more expensive model. I was impressed with this scale when I brought it home and weighed on it and it said I weighed the same as I did at the store. Another positive is that it's the same brand as we weigh in on at our meetings. It's replacing my old scale (a Thinner brand) which would let me lose or gain 10 pounds at a time just by getting on and off of it. It was such a horrid scale that it never was used. It's now in the garage sale bin :-)

Now before you warn me not to weigh at home or to obsess, let me assure you. I use my scales not so much for the number it gives, but the trend it shows. I like to get a reading early in the morning and just see what the numbers are doing. In the past I've never let the home scale dictate my feelings...that's reserved for the scale at weigh-in. LOL

2002-06-24T09:38:00.000-04:00

10% REALIZATIONS

I just realized that my 2nd 10% will put me at 226.4!

I don't think I've been that low since I was pregnant with my first child. Who Hoo!

Another realization is that I'll have lost 8 10%'s by the time I hit my goal...and once I hit that last 10% I'll only have 13#'s to go before goal!

I can hardly wait!

Until Later
-LG

2002-06-24T09:14:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 27

Date: 6/23/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 33
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 193of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 3.5 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 22 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge: 27 of 30

Comments: What a delightfully unstressed weekend this has been...food wise at least. Such a change from last weekend and so enjoyable. I just love weekends like this where I stay OP with no stress...too bad they can't all be this way. LOL

2002-06-24T09:06:00.000-04:00

It's never too late to be what you might have been.---George Eliot

2002-06-23T08:44:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 26

Date: 6/22/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 28
Banked: 5
Weekly Points Used: 160 of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 3 of 2
Water: 15 - 8oz servings
Exercise:
Days OP for Challenge: 26 of 30

Comments: A very busy rainy day at home. Spent most of the day learning everything I can about franchises. I'm thinking that I'd like to start my own business someday instead of heading back in the mainstream work force. I'd love to own a Curves franchise, but I don't think there's anywhere in my area that isn't already covered by other franchisees. So I've just been honing up on all you need to know to own a franchise...home schooling myself as it is and thinking about what franchises might interest me. The good thing is I've been so busy that food was the last thing on my mind...yeah! First time all week I've banked any points. Good thing too as I've not done any exercise today so I can't really justify eating at the top of my points.

2002-06-22T21:20:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 25

Date: 6/21/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 33
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 132 of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 5.5 of 5
Milk: 4 of 2
Water: 19 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves Workout - Moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1)
Days OP for Challenge: 25 of 30

Comments: Hated every minute of working out today. My body was screaming at me because I had walked the day before and pushed the speed at which I was walking. I'm glad the weekend is upon me because now I can rest my body and be ready for more working out come Monday. Remind me why I do this?????

2002-06-21T19:48:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 24

Date: 6/20/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 33
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 99 of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 3 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 19 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes walking moderate
Days OP for Challenge: 24 of 30

Comments: Going to bed starving tonight. Another day where my choices were within my point range, but were not as filling as they could be. I'm technically supposed to be dropping down to the 26-31 point range but I am not going to do that until my loss comes to a standstill. I figure that 33 points isn't going to hurt me as long as I'm still exercising 5 days a week. Once I hit a plateau I'll drop points and move into my new range. I can feel the hunger pangs now. LOL

2002-06-20T11:38:00.000-04:00

LOSERGRL BREAKS THE 30 POUND MARK!

Today at weigh-in I lost 1.6 which put me solidly below 250 at 248.8 and brought my total lost to 30.6!! Yippeee for me! I feel really relieved that I hit below 250 because that was a big hurdle for me. My lowest WW weight was 238.2 so I'm only about 10.6 pounds from being there and then it's virgin fat all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm finally seeing some light in this tunnel I've been traveling in since January.

I also looked over my chart and realized that I've not had a gain in the last 5 weigh-ins and that out of those 5 only 1 weigh-in did I stay the same. That's some kind of record for me. The last time I didn't have a gain in 5 weeks was when I started back to WW in November and then I only lost 2 out of the 5 and stayed the same the rest. Unfortunately for me, that time I wasn't really working the program.

So anyway, I'm feeling much better...I had tears in my eyes when I got my WI results this morning. I truly was not expecting a loss of any kind.

Until Later
-LG

2002-06-20T08:22:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 23

Date: 6/19/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 33
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 66 of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 5.5 of 5
Milk: 2 of 2
Water: 22.5 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 30 minutes Curves workout -moderate (2) 10 minutes stretching - light (1) 20 minutes sweeping/mopping light (1)
Days OP for Challenge: 23 of 30

Comments: Tomorrow is weigh-in and I'm freaking out even more than before. Today I weighed myself at Curves and I'm exactly the same as I was last week. I am going to be so bummed if that dang scale doesn't move! I won't let it throw me off my path, but it sure takes the wind out of my sails for a day or so. I just need 1 pound to hit 30 and .4 to break the 250 mark. I feel like I'm never going to attain those milestones. I know I shouldn't be freaking, but I am. It's pretty bad today because I'm looking in the mirror and I feel incredibly fat. I actually feel like I've made NO progress to this point. I KNOW that's not true, but some days are like this and they're so depressing. This journey is such a long one. Sometimes I feel like I'll never make it to the end. I know I'm like the turtle in the story the Turtle and the Hare and that if I take it slow and steady I'll eventually win the race, but sometimes I just feel so down.

2002-06-19T09:09:00.000-04:00

Challenge Results: Day 22

Date: 6/18/02
Name: Heather
Point Range: 28-33
Used: 33
Banked: 0
Weekly Points Used: 33 of 231
Fruits/Veggies: 2 of 5
Milk: 1 of 2
Water: 16 - 8oz servings
Exercise: 40 minutes walking moderate pace
Days OP for Challenge: 22 of 30

Comments: Not too much to say today. My weigh-in for Thursday is weighing on my mind. I truly have no idea what the scale will say and it just bugs the hell out of me. I only have .4 to hit 250 and anything lower than that will pull me under and just make my day. However, I am very worried that I will not show a loss due to my exercise. I keep reading all of these horror stories and they're just really bogging me down. I know that the scale isn't the end all but it's still a measure of my success and those losses help give me the push to keep going.

On another note, this week seems to be the week of people noticing my progress. I've had several people comment that I look like I'm losing weight and I feel really good about that, it's been well over 6 months since I re-started my journey and it's taken a long time to make it to this point. It can only get better from here!

2002-06-18T08:23:00.000-04:00

Weekly Challenge Results Week #3

Range: 28-33
Total points allowed for week: 231
Total points used this week: 220

Tues: 6/11: 30.5
Wed: 6/12: 31
Thurs: 6/13: 32
Fri: 6/14: 31
Sat: 6/15: 33
Sun: 6/16: 29.5
Mon: 6/17: 33

The points above do not include activity points earned.

Total Activity Points Earned: 16
Total Activity Points Used: 0